About this Site
We hope God will use this web site to reclaim sex for marriage ... save marriages from divorce ... renew love in marriages ... save souls from hell ... encourage couples to live with a purpose of serving God ... and provide married couples with a wholesome place where they may anonymously learn from other couples and encourage other couples, through sharing personal experiences and other writings.
God can use the site to bless marriages through your participation. Your writings and articles pass on passion, excitement, sadness, laughter, hope, joy, wisdom and more to those who visit. Your subscription is an encouragement to my wife and I and it helps support this site.
The site provides a place where married couples may publish love letters and love poems to each other. The site also allows couples to write love stories and many other categories of writings and articles.
But we do not stop there. God made marriages to be a partnership called a family. And God wants each family to be a team that glorifies God, with a goal of making "God's Will be done here on earth as it is in Heaven."
We encourage Christian married couples to include in their stories, how Christ has helped in their marriage.
Who reads the stories and articles here at MarriageRomance.com? On average the site recieves around 40,000 visitor hits per day. The most read stories are the rated G content that the public can read.
The continent with the highest readership is Africa; with 45 percent of all site vistors from Ghana alone. Compare this to United States with 29 percent of all site visitors. The other 26 percent are from more than 50 countries including the United Kingdom, Canada, Australia, Nigeria, India, South Africa, Germany, Malaysia, China, Ukraine, Philippines, Sweden, Russian Federation, Singapore, France, Netherlands, Turkey, Vietnam, Pakistan, Israel, Saudi Arabia, Senegal, Indonesia, Lithuania, Taiwan, Qatar, Denmark, Italy, Cyprus, Kenya, Gambia, Thailand, Gibraltar, Slovakia, Ecuador, Brazil, Bolivia, Belgium, Switzerland, Trinidad and Tobago, Colombia, Chile, Guyana, Kuwait, Namibia, Japan and Mali.
This site reaches the world. This is why we encourage Christian married couples to share in their marriage romance stories how Christ has worked in their life. One of the most read stories is a story our daughter wrote for a research paper in Nursing School - it is titled "Is Premarital Sex Worth It?" on why it is important to save your virginity for marriage. Then we asked her if we could post it on our web site. That was back in June of 2005. Just last week I checked and 221 people had read it in a 24 hour period. See, once the search engines index an article then billions of people can find it through the search engines. In one 24 hour period over 13,500 indexed pages were read. We found this out the hard way when we converted the site and forgot to provide a translation from the old page address to the new page address. The 13,500 pages that people attempted to go to directly from search engines ended up errors that day. Since then we have fixed that.
We know that just as testimonies of romance encourage married couples to be romantic, so also testimonies of Christ will encourage readers to turn to God.
We pray the site is a blessing to you ... If you wish to contact us, please call 929-256-5273.
The verses below form the Biblical foundation for the mission of this web site.
God Wants Husbands And Wives To Agree
In the Bible, Amos 3:3 says, "Can two walk together, except they be agreed?”
Resolve Differences - Strive To Please Each Other
Without a good relationship with our spouse it is impossible to have a good relationship with God. One of the requirements that God puts on us is that we should forgive others the way He forgives us. We may be saved but we are fooling ourselves if we think we have a good relationship with God when we are holding grudges and ill feelings against our spouse.
We recommend that married couples periodically take inventory of their feelings for each other. Just like a health check-up is needed periodically, so also a "relationship check-up" is helpful.
Here is how we suggest the married couple give their marriage a "relationship check-up".
We recommend that the husband and wife each make up a list of the things they wish their mate would change. Now you have two lists. One that the wife wrote down, with things she wishes her husband would change. And another list that the husband wrote down, with things he wishes his wife would change.
Now, together write down a list of things that you both disagree on. Think back as far as you can to things that you have disagreed on in the past and that you have never resolved. These are things that may cause you to feel bitter towards each other.
Before you start the next step, each of you pray aloud to God and ask God to help you give up your selfishness for the sake of a good marriage and for the sake of being good bondservants for Christ.
A marriage only works well when both the husband and wife are willing to give up and overcome their own emotions, inhibitions, fears, and selfish desires, for the sake of meeting the needs and desires of their spouse.
Now sit down together and take the first two lists and go over each item carefully. Let the person who wrote down the item, explain why they wish their spouse would change and how it makes them feel that their spouse is the way they are, and how they would feel if their spouse would change. Next, let the other spouse explain why they are the way they are and what it would mean for them to change. Would it be easy to change? Would it destroy their life to change? Try to come up with a solution together. Try to be willing to change for your spouse. If your spouse is being picky and selfish, point this out to your spouse. If your spouse is asking you to stop being picky or selfish, be willing to change. Don't go to the next item on the list until either the person wanting the change decides the other does not have to change, or else the person who is being asked to change, decides to change. Don't go to the next item until the issue is resolved. Pray together and ask what God would have each of you to do.
Go over all the issues - all the items - until you have resolved them all. Then go over the list of things you both disagree on and come up with a Godly solution. We do not live under law, we live under Grace. Remember, in a Christian marriage the wife is supposed to submit to her husband's guidance and the husband is supposed to love his wife as much as Christ loved the church and gave His life for us. Give your spouse freedom under God's Grace. Is it "profitable"? Does it help your spouse? Does it help your spouse be more emotionally stable, more fulfilled? If it helps your spouse be happier, so he or she can be a better servant to you and to God and others, then it is "profitable".
Is the issue about spending - buying something? Is it going to put you in debt? If it puts you in debt, and you don't need it now, then it may be "profitable" to buy it now. God wants you to wait until you can afford it.
If you don't need it, but you want to buy it, because it would make you feel good, then it may not be "profitable", because you need it to be happy, instead of being content with what God has given you.
Will buying it help you serve your spouse and family better or serve God better? If so it may be justified.
Is it an issue of time? Does it take precious time away from your family and away from being able to serve your family or God or others? Is it for recreation and pleasure? Remember Paul says to "put off the encumbrances that so easily beset us." In Paul's writings he encourages us to live like we are running a race and use our time and resources wisely to serve God.
Don't weight your life down with recreation that cuts into your ministry to your family, your spouse and serving God by ministering to others. If it takes a lot of time it may not be "profitable". It all depends on your perspective. If you have a desire to serve God and others, you will spend your free time serving others. If your desire is primarily for recreation and self-gratification you will spend your spare time entertaining yourself.
Decide to serve God with your life, by serving your spouse first, your children second, your extended family third, the spiritually lost, physically needy, and emotionally hurting fourth, and the church fifth. All of these are serving God, in the priority that God would have you serve, so in effect you will be serving God first.
Is the issue laziness at home? The answer is to stop being lazy and help your spouse.
Remember, as a married couple you
are "one" and you can't be very effective for God unless you agree on things.
Remember the Bible teaches that “How can
two walk together, except they be agreed”, so be determined to compromise and
agree on things.
Sex In Marriage Is Pure
Hebrews 13 verses 4 to 6 says:
Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
God Wants Married Couples To Enjoy Intimacy
>In 1 Corinthians 7:5 the apostle Paul says, “Do not deprive each other, except perhaps by mutual consent for a time, to be free for prayer, but then return to one another, so that Satan may not tempt you through your lack of self-control.”
Don't let emotions control your sex drive. This is not "profitable".
Paul instructs married couples to not withhold sex from each other. If your emotions are keeping you from having sex regularly with your spouse, you are setting your spouse up for "a lack of self-control". It is better to find a way to bring your emotions in line with God's will for your marriage than it is to deprive your spouse of sexual fulfillment.
If you don't have emotions of passion for your spouse, pray and ask God to change you. Then don't ignore the resources God has given you to bring your emotions in line with God's will for your marriage. God has given you this web site to help your marriage. Read some marriage love stories in bed with your spouse to help bring your emotions in line with Paul's instructions on having sex.
God wants married couples to enjoy sex and when they don't, they and their spouse do not feel "emotionally sexually" fulfilled. Not having sex regularly or not making your spouse feel sexually desired, causes your spouse to be tempted to not have self-control.
God Wants Couples To Save Sexual Energy For Each Other
Not having a good sex life, leads to secret sexual habits like looking at porn, reading romance novels, watching soap operas, flirting or even worse yet, adultery.
God wants married couples to save their sexual energy for each other. When a married couples takes their wedding vows, they promise to go to each other for your sexual fulfillment. That does not mean they can not use sex aides while in bed together, to increase their fun and excitement together. Candles, a romantic setting, soft romantic music, are all sex aides to enhance the romantic and sexual experience together. Reading together moral erotic stories, using vibrators, rubbing oils on each other, and wearing sexy lingerie are other sex aides that are permissible to add passion to the marriage.
We Are Not Under The Law
We are saved by Grace through faith in Jesus Christ. We are all sinners who deserve to go to hell when we die. But Jesus is God's Son, and Jesus was born of virgin Mary and Jesus lived a perfect life here on earth until he was 33, when he was then killed by crucifixion under Roman rule by the religious Jews who did not accept him as God and as the "fulfillment of the law". Jesus taught that if we just believe that He is God and that He died for our sins, that we will be saved and go to heaven instead of to hell.
As Christians we believe that Jesus died for our sins and that we are saved by God's Grace - unmerited mercy and grace, and that as Paul taught, we no longer live under the Old Testament law, but rather we live under the new law which is, to "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and your neighbor as yourself" (Matthew 22:37). Paul taught that when we believe that Jesus died for our sins, that God the Holy Spirit comes into our minds and hearts and "writes God's laws on our hearts." And so the Holy Spirit guides us to know what is right and wrong.
Paul in Galatians 3 verses 10 – 14 says, “All who rely on observing the law are under a curse, for it is written: "Cursed is everyone who does not continue to do everything written in the Book of the Law." Clearly no one is justified before God by the law, because, "The righteous will live by faith." The law is not based on faith; on the contrary, "The man who does these things will live by them." Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us, for it is written: "Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree." He redeemed us in order that the blessing given to Abraham might come to the Gentiles through Christ Jesus, so that by faith we might receive the promise of the Spirit.”
A little later in Galatians 3 verses 23 – 25, Paul says, “Before this faith came, we were held prisoners by the law, locked up until faith should be revealed. So the law was put in charge to lead us to Christ that we might be justified by faith. Now that faith has come, we are no longer under the supervision of the law. “
We Are Free To Try Things That Are "Profitable"
Paul in 1 Corinthians 6 12 to 17 said, "all things are permissible but not all things are profitable." In this passage Paul says it would be permissible for him to have sex with a prostitute but that it would not be profitable and he would never do it.
Here is the passage: 1 Corinthians 6 12 - 17, "Everything is permissible for me" — but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"—but I will not be mastered by anything. "...The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. ... Do you not know that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The two will become one flesh." But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with him in spirit. "
Going to prostitutes may have been common in Paul’s day. Paul is admonishing the Christians to not go to prostitutes, but notice he does so in the context of saying it is "permissible" but not honoring to God. Paul felt so strongly that we are not under the law, that he used this example of going to a prostitute as an example of our freedom, even though he pointed out good reason not to do it.
We Should Care What God And Society Thinks
Knowing what is "profitable" depends on our own desires and our needs and it should also depend on what God thinks is moral and what our society thinks is moral.
In Ephesians 5 verse 3 Paul says, "But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people."
What did Paul mean when he said, "there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity .."? Who decides if we have a "hint of sexual immorality" in our conduct?
I believe the standard of measure is the Bible, and our social culture.
If we are doing something and the Bible condemns, we should stop doing it.
And if we are doing something and our social culture condemns, we should also stop doing it.
This is the standard Paul admonishes us to keep in our lives - "Live a life with not even a hint of sexual immorality, or any kind or impurity ..." based on the judgments of God in the Bible and the society we live in."
We Should Not Judge Others Freedom
Our Pastor told a story about a young couple who went to the mission field to be missionaries. But they had someone send them something. And when the other missionaries found out about it they felt this young couple were not being good Christians because they were not willing to give this item up. They alienated the couple and would not accept them and finally the couple returned devastated to the U.S. That item was peanut butter. The other missionaries felt that this couple ought to be willing to give up peanut butter, and since they didn't, they judged them.
We as Christians have no basis for condemning something that the Bible does not condemn and our society does not condemn. As Christians we are not supposed to be judging beyond what God condemns in the Bible. In Matthew 7: 1-5 Jesus says, "Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. "Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." Paul also warns that Christians should not judge or they will forfeit God's Grace.
Freedom Can Help Us Be Better Servants For Christ
So we are not under the law, and we should feel free to use resources in our marriage that will be "profitable" and that God in the Bible does not condemn and that our society does not condemn. But like Jesus, we do not need to be too concerned if self-righteous folks condemn us. These folks may be like those who Paul wrote the book of Galatians to; they believed in Jesus for their salvation, but then they put themselves back under their own self-imposed laws.
While we do not need to feel guilty because some Christians who do not understand God's Grace, condemn us, we also do not want to impose our opinions of what is "profitable" on them. The Bible teaches that "whatsoever is not of faith is sin." So if some Christians feel that reading or watching moral erotic material in their marriage bedroom is wrong for them, then they should not watch it.
They serve God as their master and we don't want to condemn them if they do not have the faith to use the tools we use to help our marriage. But if they do have intimacy problems in their marriage and they refuse to take control of their emotions, or use the resources available to them to build a strong marriage, and in so doing, they cause their spouse to fall into temptation, then God will hold them accountable for not meeting their spouses sexual needs.
Grow In Grace And Knowledge Of Our Lord And Savior Jesus Christ
Once we have a good loving relationship with our spouse, we will grow spiritually more quickly.
Colossians 3 verses 1 to 19 says:
Since, then, you have been raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory.
Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once lived. But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the image of its Creator. Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is in all.
Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.
We Can Share Our Experiences And Encourage Others
Songs Of Solomon is an example of a couple sharing their romantic experiences together. Proverbs 27: 17 says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." This web site provides a way married couples may encourage and "sharpen" other married couples in the area of intimacy; by sharing marriage romance writings.
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