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President's Wife
Did you hear about when one of the former President's wife went to heaven? Her husband was known for telling lies. When she got to heaven, she noticed there were a lot of clocks around.
She asked Saint Peter what all the clocks were about. Saint Peter said, that there was a clock for each person on earth, and each time the person lied, the hand on their clock would move forward five minutes.
So the former President's wife pointed to one of the clocks and said, "Whose clock was that?" Saint Peter said, "That's George Washington's clock, he only told 2 lies."
Next, she pointed to another clock and asked, "Whose clock is that?" Saint Peter said that's Richard Nixon's clock, he told 4 lies."
She then pointed to another clock and asked, "Whose is that clock where the hand never moved?" Saint Peter said, "That's Jimmy Carter's clock, he never lied."
Next, she looked all around at all the other clocks, and could not find what she was looking for. So she asked Saint Peter, "Where is my husband's clock?"
Saint Peter replied, "Oh, your husband's clock, Jesus uses that clock in his office - as a ceiling fan!"
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