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One Key to a happy marriage
One thing I noticed growing up was that my dad would be trying to correct us children and during the course of his conversation, he would exaggerate or say some things that were not 100 percent correct. He would be somewhat emotional which would cause him to exaggerate.
So instead of trying to understand the point he was making, my mom and us children would start arguing with him about the things he said that were not 100 percent correct. And so he would seldom be able to get his point across to us. As a young boy of 8 or 9 I noticed how this happened over and over.
I noticed that this destroyed his self-esteem. I always wondered why my mom would not try to understand what his main point was instead of picking at whatever he said that was wrong.
Later in life I've found that if a husband and wife will listen to each other and then decide what the main point is that the other person is trying to get across, and then decide whether to argue with that point - this is a good approach. We should not correct each other over the exaggerations we make while trying to make a point.
For example if I say to my wife that our son always speeds and just got a ticket. My wife could argue with me and say, "Honey our son does not ALWAYS speed." Or she could ignore my error about "always" and say, "Honey, Oh that's sad that he got a ticket".
A husband and wife that always pick at each other over the exaggerations and things that are not 100 percent accurate, end up with children that do the same. Usually the louder or stronger parent ends up destroying the self-esteem of the other spouse and they both are unhappy.
Try to not argue with people. Listen to the main point they are trying to make and then decide whether you want to correct them on that point. Ignore all the other errors they make in getting to the main point.
I tell my kids I'm usually 90 percent wrong in getting to the main point, but usually the main point is a valid point. Love covers a multitude of errors, God's word says. So because they love me they can ignore my errors. And God also says, "Whatever you sow, that shall you also reap." So if we criticize others, they will criticize us. And if we forgive others, they will forgive us.
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