Please help...I want to stop this divorce!

Hi! I have been married for about 8 months now. And currently and going through a divorce. Already!! I still love this man, and I know he loves me. I just feel we need some help.

What should I do, to win his heart again, what can I do to show him that we can get passed this. Sure the divorce may go final. But I know we belong together. Should I just back off and let time take its coarse.

I wrote him a letter a couple days ago, should I just leave it at that? It was just telling him how I felt, same old same old...should I just let him take it in, and keep my head held high? Please help!

Editors Note:

Wow it's so sad your husband does not want to be patient and work things out.  I think the best thing to do is to not give up on him.  Keep loving him and try to stop the divorce.  But if he insists and will not try to work things out then at least you know you did the right thing.

God can help you and also help him through you.  I would recommend you visit this link here:  http://www.billygraham.org/believe/stepsToPeace.asp which will help you find peace with God and with yourself.  Once you know you are secure in your relationship with God, God will help you be more loving and confident with your husband – knowing God will work things out.

A great book that will help you understand the dynamics of marriage from the eyes of a conselor is – “His Needs, Her Needs”.  The author of this book has a web site called MarriageBuilders.com which has great free lessons on marriage.  Here is a link to the web site:  http://www.marriagebuilders.com/graphic/mbi3000_intro.html.  Study about mariage by reading the book or the articles on the web site.  Study until you understand how your husband thinks and you understand why you both had problems with each other.  You can actually become somewhat of an expert on marriage by reading this material.  Once you gain this knowledge you will understand yourself better and your husband better and be able to meet his needs.  And you will understand more clearly how he can better meet your needs.

Another good idea is to join a Bible teaching church that has a small group Bible study and see if your separated husband will go with you to church and to the Bible study.  God can use this time together each week to help his love for you grow and to help you both mature.

God Bless you and I hope many will be praying for you as we will.

Comments From Readers

A reader says ... My prayers go out to each and everyone of your losses.My husband has been in and out of recovery for 10 yrs. The bottom fell out of our relatonship 1 yr ago when he was asked to go into recovery and due to unmentionable circumstances was not aloud to return home after rehab discharge.We were bothe heartbroken.Through his recovery he met someone eles in spite of all my support so when he was abe to return home he chose not to. I AM SO HEARTBROKEN! I believe in the power of prayer and though my prayers are not always answered in the way I hope I can see God working in our lives.
I believe he will see us through but I sometimes become impatient.The pain we feel is unspeakable.My husband is showing signs of wanting to return home but his behavior displays confusion. Although my faith is in the Lord I am afraid. He returned home a few months ago out of fears of losing me forever, only to change his mind again and not come home.He invited me to come out with him and our son one evening that was his weekend to have our son and that resulted in him spending the night and it was beautiful. I have been praying that god is touching his heart. He is a very spiritual man and loves the Lord as well. We prayed together on our knees in the morning. We see each other often but I get mixed signals when I know he is going to spend the weekend with her in another state at wich time my guts are ripping out of me in pain. I pray for God to protect and remove any obstacles from our lives that are preventing our marriage from reconciliation. I pray for God's will and I know in my heart that he doesn't approve of what is going on here.I pray Lord, touch his heart and make way for your will.Please allow this marriage to be saved, and Bless our marriage, our haerts and our family. Please give me the strenghth to endore the pain and carry me through this. I feel as if I am going to die from a broken heart. Please include me in your prayers and I will do the same for you all. God Bless

A reader says ... My Husband moved out only 8 days ago and he says it's because he doesn't love me the way a husband should love a wife.  That hurts so bad I think worse than if there was someone else because it's me nothing else.  I wish I could change his mind and work on our differences but he says no he will not even try.  It hurts so bad because I didn't have any warning.  I need prayer to help me understand why.

A reader says ... My husband left me for no reason 2 months ago, and filed for a divorce. Of course i'm contesting it, he has no bibical reason to do this. Prayer is the only thing I have,ask God to give you strength,and pray for him too. God can bring conviction to those who leave us, and he change things.

A reader says ... I can 100% relate to you, my wife left me 3 months ago and already the divorce is going through, Like you I love my wife 110% and I would have a back now. The thing is she has too much family telling her not to come back to me so deep down I know she wont, even though she as told me she loves me to bit. I have found very hard to get over I tried to kill myself 3 times, but know I am looking forward to moving on, I have to think of the bad things she did me, it might not be right but it does help. At the end of the day we live once so dont live in hope live in whats their and the future, I know its not what you may want to hear, but move forward and I hope it helps

A reader says ... Prayer is the only answer!

A reader says ... What is wrong with our society? Why is it that we can't hold our marriages together. My husband and I was together for 12 year, but married for 5 years. Three months ago we decided to seperate, through out the relationship he has been unfaithful which resulted in him having a child outside the marriage. The only thing that any of us can do is pray that God will hear our plead. I love my husband but I can't help him, he has to realize what he has at home a good wife and two wounderful children that loves him. I have been praying that God would send him an angel to help him find his way back home. I will pray for each and everyone of you has I hope that you all would pray for me and my children.

A reader says ... I can't believe there are so many of us out there in the same situation. My wife of just a year and a half moved out 2 months ago and wants a divorce. I want to work out our problems. I will be praying for all of us and ask that all of you include me in your prayers also. Thank you.

A reader says ... MY HUSBAND IS PLANNING ON LEAVING, HAS ALREADY STARTED DOING WHAT MAKES HIM HAPPY, HE ALREADY STARTED LIVING A SINGLE LIFE STYLE.

A reader says ... I have just gone through the same thing with my husband.  I have know the man since grammar school.  We had gotten married about 5 years ago and now are divorced.  I prayed for marriage restitution but asked GOD that if it was HIS will that we be united that HE give me back a changed godly man.  I have recieved my miracle.  The divorce did go through last Fridayb but we spent the entire weekend together talking about how to make it work.  I assured him that I wanted a marriage with JESUS right in the middle of it.  Hold fast to your faith.  I prayed my husband home.  GOD will give us the desires of our heart if we are faithful and fruitful.  Let your light shine in the darkness and have joy in your suffering.  HE is still in the business of miracles.  I have just experienced one.  I will be praying for you.  God bless you.

A reader says ... I suggest prayer. Pray pray pray and pray some more. Be persistent. Luke 18:1-8. and when you pray believe that God is going to move in your relationship. Mark 11:24 "whatever you ask for in prayer believe that you have received it and it will be yours. Put all your hope in the Lord and try not to foucs on the circumstances because we know all things are possible with God. Stand in Faith and claim it. Father GOd I stand in agreeance with this women's relationship that it be restored completely. In jesus name I pray. Amen

A reader says ... Yes, that is me also my husband left a month ago. And I understand what each of you is going through..

A reader says ... I will be praying for you also. My husband of 5 1/2 years filed for divorce about 2 months ago. We have a 5 year old and a 15 month old. I never felt like he was my soul mate. So I have been praying that God will bring the man into my life that he wants me to be with. Well, last Sunday, God hit me upside the head and told me that my husband is the man that I am suppose to be with. I am now going to fight for my marriage. I now that Satan is working in his life right now. He is 28 years old running around with a 21 year old who doesn't have any kids, going out to the bar. That's not the real him. So I am stepping out in faith and putting it in God's hands to minister to him and put him back as head of his household where he belongs!!!! So my advice to anyone going through this is to pray your hearts out, God honors a pure heart. Walk in love with him and just put things in God's hands.

A reader says ... I'll be praying for you. My husband moved out about a month ago and we've only been married 4 months. I feel like you that he is my soul mate. I request that everyone say a prayer for me as well.