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Do I Keep The Faith?
I have been dating this man for a little over a year, off and on. he was divorced for 5 months when I met him. He had been married 30 years. His wife left him because he had been unfaithful five years before she left (she never forgave him, but stayed), but when she left she was having an affair with her very first love, who was married and still is.
What he did was wrong, but she was wrong also. The relationship was obviously in trouble. He has, since I have known him been guilty, blaming himself and affraid to commit to me and feeling he should keep the door open for her to come back. I don't know if he loves her or if it is guilt and obligation to take care of her that is his reason for not commiting to me. I love him and have separated off and on the past year because he wanted too. He always has come back and I have always taken him back. He came back on Halloween, thinking he was ready to go forward with our relationship, sell his house and move on. New Year's Day he told me he was still in love with his ex-wife and could not move on and close the door completely on her where she could never come back.
Valentine's Day, 2003 was our last night together at MY suggestion. I gave him a list of things that needed to change and told him unless he could achieve them, don't come back again. It has been two days away from him and I am having a hard time of it, but know deep inside I have done the right thing. I am just letting go and letting God deal with it!
Should I keep the faith that all will work out, or am I being a bit too optimistic considering our past history? He has been divorced now 18 months and I am ready to get married, but he is trying to think things over the next two weeks to see if he can muster up what he needs to move on. I know he loves me and would like to get there, but just can't for some reason. Am I being foolish to hope and hang on?
Editors Response:
Divorce is a man made concept. As long as she is not remarried you should be patient and let him reconcile with his wife. I know this is hard to do, but if you are trusting God and you want God's will to be done you can wait. If he married you, and then his wife wanted him back, and he wanted to go back too, you might wish you had waited. God wants husbands and wives to reconcile even if they are divorced.
So this issue may have been one of the reasons you broke up with him, and if it was you are right. But you might want to remain friends and pray that they will be reconciled. You might even contact his wife and tell her how lucky she is and that you are praying she will return.
God bless you and I pray God will bless your life too.
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