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Help - Incompatible Sex Drives
Hi,
I need help with a problem my husband and I are having. We have been married 22 years. We love each other so much. We are best friends and would rather spend all our time together than apart. What could be the problem? My husband desires sex 24/7 (well, at least 1-2 times daily) I try to keep up, but sometimes fall way short of that mark. (Sometimes 1-2 times a week.) I truly want to make my husband happy in all areas of our life together. How can we overcome this problem?
Thanks!
Editors Note: Thanks for submitting this question. Your husband should be sensitive to your needs just like you are sensitive to his needs. I would suggest you read with him “His Needs, Her Needs” by Dr. Harley. This book will help him better understand you and your needs.
One purpose of this web site is to help people like you enjoy sex with their spouse when otherwise they might think it was too often. The idea is that if you both read together or listened to a medium or hot writing in bed, it would help you enjoy sex more with your husband. We also sell CD's with real voices and nice background music.
Has your husband always wanted sex so often? Maybe he is going through stress at work or something that is causing him to need to feel extra close to you. Sometimes, men desire sex as a security measure during stressful times. If gives them comfort and help them feel secure being so close to their wife.
If he is always this way, then maybe you need to explain to him that you would like to have it every other day or twice a week, because it helps you enjoy it more by having time in-between lovemaking sessions. You could mention to him that most women do not want sex so often. He may be willing to have it less often if you approach him in a loving way.
You can find comfort in knowing that as men get other they desire sex less often. The male sexual desire peaks at age 18, while the female sexual desire peaks at age 35. So your desires will be changing with time.
Your husband may be watching porn or subjecting himself to TV or cable TV or other forms of media that cause his sex drive to be stimulated. He needs to realize that these things are not good for him or for his marriage. When we follow God's laws, we are better off and so is our family.
I would encourage both you and your husband to seek God's help. Ask God to help you with your marriage. If you don't attend church, please consider finding a good Bible teaching church. If you all would get involved with a church this might help him not be so focused on sex.
Try praying together at night. Not just short prayers but prayers for all the people you know that are hurting and need God's help. And see if you can work out a schedule with him to have sex every other night and on the off nights read together the Bible or a good Christian book on marriage.
God bless you and your husband!
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