Vasectomy Advise

My wife and I have been discussing the possibility of me having a vasectomy, and to be honest, I am really quite nervous about the whole thing (okay, I am really scared!).  

I do understand, though, that my wife will feel much more comfortable about sex and not getting pregnant again.  I look forward to the time when we are alone, and can go and "do it" anytime - with no worries about bringing a condom, etc.

I would like some advice from some other men/couples who have been through this.  About two years ago, a local weekly newspaper ran an article about it, and had some horror stories.  I recall one where the husband feels pain, and the couple has to properly set-up their intimate time together in such a way so as to not cause the husband a lot of pain.

My questions are:

How long does it hurt afterwards?

Does it "really" hurt? (I seem to be ultra-extremely super-sensitive "down there", and my wife agrees)

Will you have a normal sex drive?

If you go without sex for, like a week, orgasms "feel better".  Does that work the same after a vasectomy?

Is there any pain during intercourse/ejaculation?

I know that after the procedure, the husband has to ejaculate several times (up to 60?) to "clear out" the viable sperm.  I have also always struggled with masturbation & if it is a sin.  Is it wrong to masturbate to do this (I don't mean while looking at or fantasizing about other women - but perhaps thinking about your wife, or looking at pictures of your wife while masturbating)?

How do you gently ask your wife to "help you" to masturbate (since having sex is still risky - she could still get pregnant until you are deemed sterile)?

I have read about health risks concerning the sperm being absorbed back into your body - causing heart conditions later in life.  I'm not trying to scare anyone, but if any medical professionals read this, perhaps they might comment.

Thank you, I would appreciate any comments, or answers to questions anyone might have.

God Bless!

Comments From Readers

A reader says ... A comment on the previous post,

You suggest that having sex without wanting the sperm/egg of your partner is not "giving yourself COMPLETELY" to each other". This makes no sense with your promotion of NFP, as couples who practise NFP to avoid conception are doing the same thing as couples who use other methods of bc (not "giving the sperm/egg").

Also, NFP is not 96-99% effective for those of us who choose to breastfeed.... unless you're okay with abstinence for long periods of time.

NFP is great, but there are limitations to it. A good resource for those interested in it is the book "Taking charge of your fertility" byt Toni Whecshler

A reader says ... I like this site, it's a great idea to take back sex from the culture!!!

I do feel sad however, when I read on this site about married couples that use contraception. I know this is a "hot button" topic, but please let me explain. Using contraception is like saying to your spouse, I want all of you, except for your sperm, or except for your eggs. Naturally, we are not equipt with a contra-conception devices, these are man made. Look at what has become of society since the "pill" was introduced. Contraception is the only area of medical sience that works to actually break a healthy system. Some forms of contraception can actually be considered as mutilation. Name another widely used medical procedure that works to harm or destroy what is natural like our fertility??? It is an absolutely wonderful thing in marriage to give COMPLETELY to one another, sperm, eggs, fertilty and all...absolutely wonderful...not holding back anything of ourselves.

I understand also that God has given us the knowledge and free will to make responsible choices in life matters, including bringing new people into the world. For this, He had created us with a cycle of fertility. MODERN Natrual Family Planning is 96% to 99% (depending on the study) effective in posponing (or achieving for that matter...for you couples dealing with the struggle of infertility) pregnancy. It's just as good as any chemical (Pill, patch, etc) method and way more effective than barrier methods. With NFP, I can respect my wife's natural fertility..the way she was made by God, yet respect our free will and responsibility to our family. I prayer is that all couples on this site can abandon the use of contra-conception and fully give yourself to your spouse and accept what God has in plan for you. If pregnancy would not be the best thing at this time, please learn modern NFP (not the old "calander" or "rhythem method") and learn to abstain from sex from your partner for a few days.  Please reply with any respectful quesitons or concerns... I'll check back periodically.

A reader says ... my husband had the snip nearly four years ago after we decided quite adamantly 6 children was enough yet last week i found out i was pregnant and too far advanced over 16 weeks to have abortion  can someone tell us why this has happened and what we can do??


A reader says ... Hi My husband has had a "V" then had a reversal then another "V" we have had great sucess with it, and its not as bad as men make it out to be, at least not with my man, and sexual function is the same now as it was before the first time and same after the 2nd time, its a little tube that they burn, tiny as a small straw. Sex feels the same,he wanted it a week after, its a great way of birthcontrol and alot healthier then the woman always on BC. good luck with whatever choice you make

A reader says ... I joined the clipper club about 18 years ago.  it was sore for about 3-4 days.  I did it because the other procedure for my wife was far more invasive and risky and for me it was the loving thing to do.  For us, it has been wonderful with more frequent and spontaneous love making.  If you are worried about masturbation, just continue with your current form of birth control until the doc gives you the all clear.  Personally, it sounds to me like a great opportunity for you and your wife to expand your repertoire.   PS - If your are scared to death, have the doc give you a heavy oral sedative before the procedure.

A reader says ... Commenting on the vasectomy questions: I had one in August of 2003. It hurt for about 8 - 10 days. The 6th day seemed to be the worst. (don't know why) I kept the ice packs and rest going every chance I could. I had to give 3 sperm samples at 6 weeks, 3 months and 6 months. At the end of the 6th month the dr. said I was good to go, no sperm. The first few times my wife and I made love were quite intense. The feeling was more electrifing. There was some pain, but the feeling and pleasure far outwayd the pain. Its been over a year now and It's almost as it was before. If we go more that 3 or 4 days in a row without any sexual activity, though, the "blue balls" seem to come around easier. As for my sex drive, it is pretty much the same, if not greater. All the material the doc gave me stated in the studies done up to the present there were virtually no health risks. Hope this helps.