Should I Lose Respect For My Husband Because He Sins?

Our purpose here on earth is to glorify God.  An optimal Christian marriage is one that is happy and useful for the Lord.  

A marriage that ends in divorce is not a useful marriage for the Lord.  
God puts the highest importance on staying married.  God hates divorce and does not allow any way out of marriage.  Jesus did not allow any way out of marriage except death.

A marriage is made up of two people.  A husband and a wife.  These two people are not always at the same level of spiritual maturity.  Many times one of them is mature spiritually and the other is immature spiritually.

When this happens, it is the responsibility of the mature person in the marriage to keep the marriage healthy.  God cannot help the immature spouse grow spiritually if the mature spouse loses respect and becomes bitter towards the immature spouse.

Don't lose respect for your husband because he is a sinner.  Pray for him and respect him and God will help him mature.  

None of us are perfect and the Bible teaches that we shouldn't think more highly of ourself than of other people.  I would think this would be especially true of your spouse.  Men need respect from their wife.

Love covers a multitude of sins, and love believes all things, hopes all things and so in order for the immature spouse to grow, the mature person must be willing to compromise in love.

In Mathew 5:9 Jesus said, “Blessed are the peacemakers, For they shall be called sons of God.”

For example if your wife is immature and will divorce you if you don't buy her a nice big house, then you should try to buy her a nice big house.  I know a man this happened to and he bought his wife a nice big house and his wife eventually matured to the point where she became willing to be a missionary and live in a tin shack.

Another example might be if your husband wants you to go in public without a bra on.

When my Dad grew up it was a sin to go in public with a bra on.  Only prostitutes wore bras. Now if you go braless some would consider you sinful.  

Some things we think are wrong are cultural.  Jesus broke some of the cultural laws and made the religous folks angry.  Try not to judge your spouse based on cultural laws but rather based on what the Bible has to say.

Study the Bible so you will know what the Bible has to say.  Try reading through the Bible each year.  And be sure and attend a good Bible teaching church where they understand God's grace.  If you understand God's grace towards you, you will have grace and mercy for your spouse.

Comments From Readers ...

A reader says ... I love my husband very much.  I know that he loves me as well.  However, it frustrates me to no end when he demonstrates his selfishness and eagerness to please everyone but me.  I feel like he treats me of less value. I will continue to pray for him and hope that he finds his way back to the path where we met - church.  He has a good heart, strong determination and good will.  He only needs to find his way back to Christ.  He has been swayed away by the illusion of greater fun with his friends.  He knows it is wrong and this encourages him to shy away from church and his family.  Prayer offers me some comfort and God never fails to listen.

A reader says ... this is very heart warming and it makes me cry because pretty soon it will be a Valentines day i am not sure if my husband still loves me. How do i know my husband still loves me when he does not communicate and make any commitment to me.

A reader says ... I too, am married to an immature husband.  He is 41 years old and I'm 37 years old.  He doesn't pay his bills on time and when they increase in the amount, he gets frustrated and he begins to act-out in a negative way towards me!  He begins to neglect his responsibility towards me and our daughter.  I make more money than he does and I guess he feels that when he makes this error, I'm suppose to correct it and not talk about it.  But, I'm tired of paying for his mistakes.  I am continually praying for him and our marriage.  I do love him, but I hurt when he treats me like he really doesn't want to be bothered with me.  He says that he doesn't show any affection towards me (as far as hugging me), because we see each other everyday.  I'm really lost and I'm praying and yet holding on.  

A reader says ... Thank you.  It is so hard to respect someone who just doesn't give the same amount of respect in return but I will not lose my patience in my husband because I know that he can do better.  I will just continue to pray  for our marriage and him.