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males not moving
Ideally, men will move toward women, and women will respond. It appears to be the design of how we're made. Sometimes, it works fine, and both sides enjoy it. Other times, it doesn't work. Women, of course, don't have to respond to the efforts of men; it's their option. What I'm thinking about here, though, is when they don't even get the chance. It's because the men are like statues. They're not moving.
This is a frustrating situation, from different angles, for both women and men. Women are perplexed, waiting, wondering. The men who don't move are missing a part of their calling as men, and also missing the delightfulness of women.
Not all men are immobile. Some are able pursuers of the fairer sex. But why are others not moving toward women? There seem to be a number of reasons.
--Some, though they may have plenty to offer, are, because of temperament or because of some setback in life, simply lacking confidence.
--Some are quite preoccupied with their education or their work and are too focused on success to find someone to share it with.
--Some, for one reason or another, may not have done much pursuing and, not being in the habit, find it easy just to keep doing life alone.
--Some do fear committing to another person, especially one who is different in a lot of ways, since she is female.
--Some have allowed themselves to be crippled by pornography, which badly distorts their view of women and of relating to them, though it seems much easier and more convenient than dealing with a real person, a real woman.
--Some may not be active in seeking relationship with a woman for real and legitimate spiritual reasons, like wanting to grow and mature, or like seeking to confirm a spiritual calling.
--Some may be intimidated by women who seem so accomplished and successful.
--Some are allowing fear of rejection to get the best of them.
--In our society, where male-female relationships have deteriorated so much and many have been badly hurt, many women are understandably guarded and do not communicate the availability and receptivity that would help some men do their part (I'm not thinking of female aggressiveness, just receptivity).
--Some men have had bad experiences of one kind or another (maybe in recent memory) and are not anxious to face the possibility of something similar.
--Relationships call for a lot, and if a man feels tired and pressured by what he is already doing, he might not want to add something which calls for so much additional from him.
There is no single answer to all of this. If, however, a guy sees himself in any of it and really would like to change, a few practices could help. Meeting regularly with other guys and talking over what matters can be strengthening to you as a man in general. Being disciplined in how you take care of yourself can both give you energy and keep you at your most attractive; these both play a part in getting you in motion. Regularly talking with women just as friends and listening for what they want in life and in a relationship can help; learning about women and appreciating the differences makes their attractiveness more clear and can make them seem more approachable, too. Doing what you can to make yourself a more well-rounded and interesting person might help, if it's needed. Most important of all, if you are a Christian, is spiritual discipline, which while good for its own sake, also clears your head, gives you perspective, and motivates you to do good things--which might include moving toward a woman.
If you're a male not moving but sense maybe you should be moving, I just want to encourage you to begin to take action. A woman might be one of the
greatest blessings of your life. And you just might begin to bless her by approaching her.
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