missionary dating

     The Christian faith is so much more than "going to church." It involves both inward and outward realities that, because God is producing them, set the Christian apart from the general course of the world in important ways. Genuine Christianity involves a different pattern of seeing, thinking about, feeling about, and doing things. When it's real, it's about one's ultimate allegiance and values. It is no wonder that God says that the Christian's closest voluntary relationships should be with other Christians. 2 Cor.6:14 begins a key passage with the words, "Do not be bound together with unbelievers". That has implications for singles.

     What happens when a person who claims to be a Christian gets very attracted to a person who does not claim to be a Christian? Sometimes what happens has been jokingly called "missionary dating," though it is no joke.

God takes it more seriously than the person's involved do. Some may point out that the effort appears often to be successful and therefore try to justify it. That's another discussion. I'm only here directing attention to what God says and also to give an illustration of what can happen if it's disregarded.

     A guy I know claims to be a Christian. Sometimes he sounds like one. But I notice a major choice he made. He decided to get involved with a girl whom he knew was not a Christian. Their involvement became more serious, and he would refer to it when we saw each other. I said that if he claimed to be a Christian, then he needed to be thinking about the passage in 2 Cor.6. He looked at it when I showed it to him, but somehow he managed to shake whatever impression it might have made on him. He later actually tried to make me sound unreasonable and uncaring by saying (sounding quite spiritual) that I ought to care about the girl coming to Christ and also that he didn't want to limit what God could do in this situation. And he went on.      

    The fact is, he wanted what he wanted, and nothing or no one was going to stand in the way. And he got it. Despite his sporadic attempts to make the relationship more spiritual, it proceeded basically according to the course of the world. He married the girl after it was discovered that she was pregnant. His life is now dramatically changed. His church involvement has apparently fallen off quite a bit. I sense that he has been forced to do some thinking. He doesn't seem so happy-go-lucky, as before.

     God says what he says for a reason. Christian singles should take    2 Cor.6:14-18 to heart. It is not just a restriction. It is for the good of His people.

Comments From Readers

A reader says ... People do Missionary Dating as their Ministry to the Lord... like Tamara:  

http://datetosave.com

Christians can give themselves a bad name sometimes...

A reader says ... from the writer: Being unequally yoked and being judgmental are both wrong. My friend's "one bad decision" was actually a long series of unwise decisions which resisted the counsel of those who care about him. He and I are fairly close, and my concern for him stems from knowing a lot about him. Because Scripture teaches that true faith is seen in fruit, I just don't want my friend to be mistaken about his spiritual state. This wasn't a case of snap judgmentalism. I care about him a lot.

It's not your job to judge the authenticity of your friend's faith based on one bad decision he made. Is it worse to be unequally yoked or to be judgmental?