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DTR
This writing has special reference to any single man who spends some sort of regular time with a particular single woman on a social basis. Sound a little vague? Yes, that's the point. A friend of mine, who is a gentleman, taught me the concept of DTR. As you may or may not know, that stands for "defining the relationship."
If a man takes the initiative to show some level of interest in a woman and seeks her company in an ongoing way, his intentions may be clear, and they may not be, even if he assumes they are. Men and women do not speak exactly the same language, nor do they think the same. Confusion and uncertainty often results. To be specific, a woman can wonder (maybe for quite a while) just what a man is thinking with regard to their mutual . . .
uh . . . arrangement. Are they just friends? Are they casually dating? Is he more seriously interested in her? Has marriage entered his mind as a possibility, or as a likelihood? What exactly does he think this "relationship" is?
Because of the differences between a man and a woman and also because of the differences in two specific personalities, the man should not simply assume she knows what he is thinking. And if he is not even sure within himself what he is thinking about her, he needs to gain some clarity. The considerate, helpful thing to do is to define the relationship---first, in his own mind, then, in conversation with her.
Perhaps this sounds like it would be too mechnical and strange a thing to do. It could, of course, be done that way, but it doesn't have to be. Defining the relationship can be done briefly; it doesn't have to be a summit meeting. It's just a guy letting a woman know what he's thinking about the two of them and also probably asking her what she thinks and feels about the same subject. It is a way to show respect and appreciation periodically as a relationship progresses, not constantly, but every once in a while. My friend related that in his experience, women have told him that they valued his doing that.
If a woman is interested in a man who is paying attention to her, she wonders if they are just "hanging out" (whatever that means) or if there is any kind of future to the relationship. Her trust in him will deepen if he cares enough to let her know his level of feeling for her and his level of commitment to her---in other words, if he will define the relationship.
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