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'Why aren't you . . .?'
The question, "Why aren't you married?" (or something like it) is one that sometimes has been directed toward a single person whose singleness is standing out because of the age they've reached and remained alone. If someone asked me that, I would just answer the question and wouldn't mind it, but I sense that others have not liked hearing the question.
I can only guess, but the dislike of that question may be because it is already a nagging question within that single person. The person may be wondering at a deep level, "Is there something wrong with me? Why has my life gone like this? Why indeed am I single?" The question might also be taken as meaning that the questioner is wondering what it is that's prevented marriage.
Is there a problem of some sort? IS there something wrong with this single?
One other possible reason for disliking the question is that it reminds the single person of something definite and painful--perhaps a certain love that was lost, or a difficult reason why the single feels he or she must remain single.
Singleness, especially as one begins to get older, can involve sadness and frustration. It CAN be a positive experience, but most would like to be married, and if marriage has eluded someone, it's a little tough to handle at times. The question of "Why aren't you ...?" can feel to some like having salt thrown in a wound. Those who are about to ask the question should, we can hope, think twice.
There is another side to this. The single person being interrogated may realize it or may not, but there is a compliment in the question almost always. The questioner is saying indirectly, "You are a winner, and you seem like the type someone would have already grabbed. I'm just surprised to see someone like you unattached." If a single ever faces the question, maybe it would help to remember that the questioner doesn't mean harm but is expressing both admiration and interest in the person's happiness. People may say some awkward things, but they can also mean well. Patience.
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