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Mild, Medium, Hot
Any single person who visits marriageromance.com has a choice to make:
What am I going to read? It's a question worth thinking over carefully.
This website has benefited quite a number of couples, and marrieds are the original and primary audience, as well as the primary contributors. The distinctive plan of the site includes some descriptions of sexual intimacy between loving spouses as a means of encouraging the same and thus strengthening the bond between husbands and wives. The concept has been somewhat controversial even among some potential married readers; some do not feel comfortable with this format. This is part of why we singles should decide carefully about what we read. Much of the material was not written for us.
The division of writings into "mild" and "medium" and "hot" is very helpful to all readers of the site. Not all married readers choose to read the "hot" writings or even the "medium." They can benefit from the "mild" writings a great deal, as these very much encourage the love and romance between husband and wife.
Singles, too, can be helped by the "mild" writings. These contributions help by giving a view of what, in part, marriage can be like. Some are quite tender and can affect us emotionally and help us see the love a couple can share. That seems like a good thing for us as singles--to gain and hold a vision for married love and affection.
Other "mild" writings tell of the anticipation engaged couples have had and how they've used self-control and been glad of it. I have been surprised by how much I've liked some of the "mild" writings and what they've done for me. Writings are also now submitted in other categories which might encourage our spiritual and physical well-being.
The "medium" and "hot" writings are where we need to be careful. They portray expressions of intimacy which, while exciting and even sometimes beautiful, are not activity we are free to enjoy as singles. Reading them can stir up desire and longing which can only be frustrating to a person without a partner in marriage.
The writer of one of the "hot" stories responded to some comments about her writing. She makes a good point in one of the things she says: "I'm a little ambivalent about knowing that unmarried people may be reading our stories, as there must be an element of tempting our single sisters and brothers. Surely it would be so wrong to cause anyone to lust after us."
She is quite right, and that may be reason enough to steer away from "medium" and "hot."
I have learned that it is best for me to not spend much time with at least the "hot" writings and maybe the "medium." Still, I admit I look at them sometimes. I've done so on occasion when I've felt lonely and was thinking about what I was missing; that turned out to be unhelpful to me!
There is, though, a way in which they have encouraged me. Don't laugh; I'm serious. In the breakdown of my parents' marriage years ago, sex was a painful issue, and I got it in my head that sex was almost surely going to be the cause of misery for a couple. Also, I somehow likewise got it in my head that it was nearly impossible for a woman to experience sexual fulfillment, that a man might only with enormous difficulty be able to (possibly) please his wife.
These ideas were a part of my thinking for years and made me depressed about what marriage must be like. To become gradually aware, then, that a woman could greatly enjoy sex and enjoy it greatly with her husband was at once a relief and hope-giving and intriguing and thrilling. Stories of shared passion and joy for a couple thus mean a lot to me. In this way, my reaction is, surprisingly, usually not so much that of being aroused but of seeing the wonder and beauty of God's design and feeling a hope confirmed about how good it can be. At the same time, it is best not to dwell on that now. If I ever marry, there will be time then to revel in something wonderful (if I'm not too OLD!).
This website is an instrument which can help a single person prepare for marriage. As with other things, though, a single needs to be wise.
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