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Could Marriage Help?
The woman, probably in her early to mid-thirties, sat near the back of the early church service. Though attractive, she had made little or no effort with her appearance. She had just thrown on jeans and a plain shirt, and her hair looked a little mussed.
The guest speaker brought an earnest message about the Lord's supper, since it was to be served following. He spoke about the blessings it is meant to be to the Christian believer and urged his hearers to value and participate in it. At the end of his sermon he prayed for the people as they prepared to take the supper.
That is when the woman stood up, tossed an offering into a basket near her on the floor, and walked out.
I felt sad for her. She was quite consciously skipping the Lord's supper, for some reason.
It's my observation that people who are merely visiting a church will usually dress at least somewhat nicely and will also usually take communion if it is offered, even if they have no particular profession of faith. This woman did neither. From her down-and-tousled appearance and her behavior, I found myself wondering if she was having an internal struggle, not just trying to save a few minutes and beat the crowd as she left. Her departure was pointed after the message brought by the speaker.
There was no way to know what was in her mind, but I wondered further that if there was something bothering her, did it have any connection (direct or indirect) with her being single, which she appeared to be? Was it because of a spiritual struggle and sin in her awareness that she didn't take communion? And could that have any connection to her being single?
Could being married have made a difference?
This was all, of course, just wondering and guessing, and maybe only the product of a nosy, single male mind. But thinking about such possibilities came, probably, because she looked unsettled and not at peace, and I felt for her. I do not know much about the sins of women, and I do not know what was at issue with her, even whether it was actually sin to any degree. I have heard, though, that marriage can do something major for a person, male or female. It has a settling effect, a way of dealing with the restlessness that plagues many single people, and which leads sometimes to sin. I wondered if being married would have found her in a better condition on that Sunday morning.
Marriage is not a cure-all. It doesn't solve everything, and it is a
challenge, besides. The apostle Paul says that there is reason to remain single (1 Cor.7:8, 28, 38). But he adds that there is, for many, reason to get married (1 Cor.7:9). Men and women both have sexual energy and desire, which is part of what's behind that restlessness in singles. There is a deep instinct to be one with another person, a mate. When the mate isn't there, the vacuum can be filled with sin and trouble of soul, especially if we are spiritually not where we should be.
More positively, God has made marriage to be a blessing and a means of His grace. While the ultimate completion of a person is accomplished at the spiritual level, there is also a settling of a person at the human level through connection with another. And that connection, in the plan of God, is fullest in the marriage relationship.
May we as singles keep marriage in right perspective, with the limits it has, but if we need it, may we seek it prayerfully and prepare for it.
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