|
Need Prayer and Advice About Potential Romance
Okay, I'm going to lay it on the line here. I really need to some prayer and some good Christian advice on this issue. Since this is a Christian romance website, I figured this would be the perfect place to make my request. I've been praying about it, but so far, no answer from God yet. I am trying to determine whether to pursue a romantic relationship with a young lady that I feel may be the right one for me, despite certain obstacles that appear to be in the way.
I've known of her since she was a child growing up the church that I attend, but it was about three and a half years ago when she first grabbed my attention. “Grabbed my attention” is probably an understatement. Why and how it happened, I'm really not sure. But at any rate, I guess you could say I've been her secret admirer ever since, but from afar. To be honest, I've had a crush on her for the last 3 years. Yeah, I know, men in their 40's are not supposed to be getting crushes. But, hey, stuff just happens sometimes. And, who knows, maybe God put that feeling there.
Let me tell you a little bit about her. While I'm sure that the majority of her beauty is on the inside, there's plenty left for the outside as well. She doesn't have the figure of a model, but I think she's built just right. Her skin looks as if it's as smooth as silk, her big blue eyes are like two oceans, and her smile just melts my heart. She probably doesn't think she's all that attractive (a feeling that I have found to be common in many women), but I think she is gorgeous. From what I have been able to observe, she is very classy, intelligent, and talented and has very impeccable tastes in clothing and the like. She seems to be a good Christian and is very active in our church and the community, but she is unattached, as far as I know. She has never been married and neither have I. She had a boyfriend (he's also from out church) from the time she was in high school until about five years, when they broke up for some unknown (to me anyway) reason. She hasn't had one since, to my knowledge.
However, there just seem to be too many obstacles to us ever having a future together, despite my feelings. I fear that some of these obstacles would even make approaching her for a date very awkward. I'm also fear that any overture I would make toward her would startle her and make her very feel uncomfortable.
The first obstacle is our age difference. I'm 43 while she won't turn 29 until later this year. She would probably have no interest in an old guy like me. Even if she did, her parents would just die. I'm sure of it. Heck, when she is 40, I'd be 54. When she's 56, I'd be 70. By the time she reached retirement age at 65, I'd be almost 80. I am closer to her parents' age than I am to hers. I doubt that she needs another father.
Another major obstacle is that she's way more classy and sophisticated than I'll ever be. That could be a result of the difference in our upbringing. She was raised in a middle class family. Although I'm middle class now, I was raised in a poor family and we lived in housing projects until I was 18. I don't think I could ever get enough of those lower class and backward instincts out of my personality to rise to her level. No matter how many facts I learn, how money I make, or how far I eventually go up the corporate ladder, I doubt that I'd ever catch on to that “good taste” thing and get all of that boorishness completely out of my system. Even after all these years, my table manners are still not what they really should be. There are just some things a person has to learn during his/her formative years as a child.
The third, and possibly the largest, obstacle is that I don't have a lot of free time because I am the primary caregiver for my 78-year-old disabled mother, who lives with me. That's why I haven't dated much in the last 10 years. Also, I don't think it would be fair to a young lady to not be able to give her the attention she needs.
If circumstances were only different, I would make this young lady my queen. I would pamper her day and night. I would attempt (within reason) to make her every dream come true. Only God would get more of my attention. I would make sure we had a Christian home and raise any children that we had to grow up to honor God. But, unfortunately, things don't look good right now. I would appreciate your prayers and advice on this issue. I am a cancer survivor, so know God can overcome any obstacle. Nine years ago, I had stage 3 (very advanced) testicular cancer. However, thank God, I am cancer-free today.
|
|