my wife doesnt like to have sex. ?

Hello to all.... who can help.

          I'm 32 years old and I'm in my 2nd marriage... my x wife left me and our two kids in Dec 24 1999 for another guy on the internet, after 11 years. I moved on with my kids and i found the girl of my dreams, i actually had a dream of her before we even met. And the way we met was pretty weird so to speak, like meant to be. lol


           She's perfect in every way, but one thing, she doesn't like to have sex, she will not start the sex, but please don't get me wrong, she does give me sex, but she doesn't like to start it. I have to ask for it all the time. If i don't ask for it, we can go for weeks with out having sex, believe me i know i did it for a test.!!!

        
            Be have been together for 4 years, she's 24 and I'm 32, i know the age difference there lol. But she's more mature than ya'll think; we have four kids all together. My 2 and we have 2.

             I noticed this 3 months after we got together, but i didn't think it would go on like this, i talked with her, i talked with her mom, sister.... but she even told me if she had to take a pill to please me then she would leave me. Please understand i get sex from her, but when we are having sex she doesn't really participate in the act, she just lays there. I've asked her if she ever been raped or touch wrongly or anything, a bad relationship ... something.   I need help!!! I'm to the point to where i just feel like leaving, but i do love her...i just feel like if my marriage is like this, i don't want to get old not enjoying our life together, we only live once.


         I want to tell ya'll a few things she tells me.... and does...she doesn't like to watch any love making on any movie...funny huh (i don't mean dirty movies.... she despises those. she doesn't put on anything provocative either.... she doesn't even play around in a sexual fashion. when we first got together i didn't really notice it at first. but less than three months later i did. i tried everything under the sun possible. I'm to the point to slip her a Viagra in her Dr. Pepper...lol

            Can i say, I'm not here to put her down, she's a good mom, and a good wife.... i just want a little excitement in my love life. I'm 32 and i like to get a little freaky, not nasty just freaky.... please someone help a desperate dad here...thanks

Comments From Readers

A reader says ... Maybe she doesn't love you like that.  

A reader says ... You didn't mention if you only approach your wife with touches or kisses when YOU want sex. Some women feel as if the only time their husbands pay any attention to them is when they want sex. Most men are turned on with what they see...whereas most women are turn on by what she hears. My advice to you, if you’re not already doing so, put sex aside for right now.

Then start each day with a sweet note where she can find it, or a phone call during the day to tell her you were thinking about her. Tell her how beautiful her eyes are, or her smile. Comment on the cute things she does when she thinks no one is looking.. Give her lots of hugs, and sweet tender kisses on her cheek or forehead, tell her you love her, help out with the kids a little more, telling her that you see how hard she works around the house and needs a break. Take her to dinner; all the while don’t approach her with sex. Believe me, at first she may think you are doing all this for sex, but will soon realize your not.
I am not saying that you’re not doing this already, but a lot of men fail to realize this important make up of both sexes. Thinking that most women look at sexual needs are the same between both sexes and need to learn the way to a women garden is through her ears.
Trust me on this, and in time her desire for sex will come about.
For most women it isn't the sexual drive they seek, but the tender moments that a married couple share to express their love for one another. Men on the other hand have a much greater physical need for sex...And women need to understand that a man’s sexual drive is aroused by what he sees. That is just how God made us... Good luck.
Would love to hear how it is going for you both.

A reader says ... See if she might like to read or listen to the writings on this site.  They may help her enjoy intimacy more.

A reader says ... Please give your wife some more time.  Men reach their sexual peak at 18 years old.  Women reach their sexual peak at 35.  In 10 to 15 years your wife will be wanting sex and you will not be wanting it as often.  

Be thankful that she is willing to give herself to you and please realize that many women do not have a strong sex drive but it does get much stronger between 35 and 45.