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How To Argue With Your Spouse
There should be no losers. Do you really want your spouse whom you love to lose an argument with you? Think how constantly losing arguments with you plays on your spouse's self-esteem. Did you know spouses influence each others self-esteem more than any other factor during their married life?
Arguments are usually started because one spouse feels the other messed up or is wrong. The Bible has something to say about how to correct someone when you feel they are wrong.
The Bible teaches that love should be “slow to anger” and that love “covers a multitude of sins” and that we should not think we are better than others (including our spouse). So when a married couple loves each other they will not be quick to correct each other.
But what if your spouse is selfish and doesn't seem to ever want to change and you feel you can not overlook their selfishness any longer. How should you deal with your spouse?
Galatians 6: 1 says “Brethren, if a man be overtaken in a fault, ye which are spiritual, restore such an one in the spirit of meekness; considering thyself, lest thou also be tempted.”
And, Ephesians 5: 25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ loved the church and handed himself over for her.”
These two verses teach us that when we feel our spouse is wrong, we should be very humble and meek with them and that we should love them to the point of being willing to give our life for them, as Jesus did for the church.
So how do you correct your spouse in light of these scriptures? First explain in loving terms your feelings and what your spouse and other people did to make you feel the way you do.
Next ask your spouse to explain to you their side of the story. Listen closely to what your spouse says, and see if maybe you misinterpreted something they did. If you did acknowledge to them that you see that now.
If you don't feel better after listening to your spouse, ask your spouse if you can offer a suggestion of how they could change in the future to make you happier.
Then explain to your spouse what you would like them to do differently next time to help you be happier.
Pray together and thank God for each other.
In a marriage disagreement, if one spouse feels like they lost an argument, then the winner of the argument usually did not spend the necessary time and effort to make their spouse feel like a winner too.
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