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Lessons Learned from God
Background. Many soldiers planned on keeping a journal as a personal record of this historic event. In Desert Storm (1991) I tried to do the same thing, but eventually focused less on my journal and more on letters. I wrote an article about leadership, but never shared it with anyone and still have it tucked in some drawer at home as a token memento of what I would do when I was finally in charge. That is another story.
Anyway, I knew eventually the diary enthusiasm would dwindle. This is certainly true with today's communication technology. We have daily access to e-mail, phone, webcam, digital pictures and 24/7 news coverage. Another technological advancement available is computer software for personal record keeping. I record important dates, events and operations on Microsoft Outlook Calendar, which is classified. Everything is done by e-mail and thumb drives. I still use notebooks to record information from conferences and various meetings. But with all of this available technology, I was determined not to start something that I wouldn't finish.
A friend of mine gave me a journal for recording my notes. Prior to our final deployment from Camp Shelby, MS to Kuwait/Iraq Theater of Operations, I made my first entry as a prayer to God on November 13, 2004. That is when I decided that I should record my prayers. I knew I couldn't record every prayer because I was constantly praying. My prayer journal contains my most focused thoughts and prayers to God of praise, thanksgiving, forgiveness and requests. I relate my entries in the journal as the same as praying on my knees. These would be my most intimate prayers. I wanted to use the journal as a record of my spiritual well-being and conversations with God.
Since Nov 13, 2004 to Jul 24, 2005 I have made 42 entries. Those are 42 prayers to God from my knees. Most were in my darkest and weakest moments. Fifteen entries were done in my first 30 days in country. 25 of 42 entries or 60% are in the first 80 days of deployment. You may wonder why they aren't as frequent now. Has my enthusiasm dwindled? Have I stopped praying? Have I stopped depending on God? The answer to all is an absolute NO! God has never failed me or my family. We may have not liked the answers or timing, but His plan is always better than mine.
Why have I recorded fewer prayers since Feb 1, 2005 to Jul 23, 2005? I truly believe it's because God has answered my prayers. On Nov 13, 2004 I asked God to “provide me with spiritual and moral courage to do thy will. I am scared and nervous. I place trust and faith in Your divine plan. Help me not to question Your will. Hold me close to You. Provide me the calm and comfort so that I can be a positive instrument of Your choosing. Please wrap your arms around my family. Bless them with peace and understanding. Protect them physically, spiritually and mentally.” I believe God's word in Psalms 35: 1-3; “Oppose those who oppose me, Lord, and fight those who fight against me! Take your shield and armor and come to my rescue. Lift up your spear and war ax against those who pursue me. Promise that you will save me.” I also know many other friends, family and strangers prayed something similar. God answered these prayers and continues to this day.
On Dec 6, 2004 (my Birthday) I asked Him to “guide me to be productive, positive, encouraging, accessible, wise and brave. Help me to serve You. Open my heart and mind. Let me maintain my focus on my duties and responsibilities.” God has shown me how to trust others who work for me, so I don't think I have to do it all. God has blessed with me with wonderful uplifting relationships. God has opened my heart to know other soldiers and listen to them, who have far greater needs than I.
On Dec 19, 2004 as Christmas was approaching and I worried about my family I prayed for God to “please protect and bless my family. Favor them with kindness, warmth, protection and mercy. Protect them against physical injury and illness. Bless them spiritually and mentally. Help them to see You. Reveal to them Your love and compassion.” We may have been lonely from our separation, but not from the love of God. Again family and friends prayed and showered my family with love.
I also thanked God on many occasions. On Dec 30, 2004 I prayed “Thank you for my lovely wife and two wonderful children.” I asked God to be there for them as He is with me. “Help them to see Your love and strength during this challenging time. Let nothing come between their faith and your love. Keep bringing people into their lives that pray for them and do kind things for them.” Our family, friends and especially Sunday School members never let us down. I know God answered all of our prayers.
He has provided me safety, freedom of fear, encouragement, safety of my family, calmness and satisfaction of my life and task at hand. I am not trying to take credit for God's answered prayers. God has answered my prayers about me, my family and church. God has answered those prayers through family, church, friends and strangers. Again, reassured by God's word; Psalms 18: 1-3 says “How I love you Lord! You are my defender. The Lord is my protector; He is my strong fortress. My God is my protection, and with Him I am safe. He protects me like a shield; he defends me and keeps me safe. I call to the Lord, and he saves me from my enemies. Praise the Lord!”
What has God done for me or how has God been involved in my life? He has continuously answered prayers. This deployment is not the end of my life. It is not a fix for my relationship with Him or my family. I do know this will impact me throughout the rest of my life. This is a means to the end. Being a servant of the Lord or serving the Lord is a broad statement.
How do we serve the Lord? I feel when my children are my age and they are happily and faithfully married, in love and raising their children in a Christian home, then I have served God well. It's all the things I do with my wife that shows my service. My children cannot have the same joy, spiritual relationship with God and marital harmony with their spouse unless I am first a witness to them. This includes how I worship, talk about church, pray, treat my wife, treat them and am obedient to God. Also, they need to see how I respond to trying times such as this deployment. Do they see me complain and have self-pity? No, they see my wife and I trusting the Lord. They see us talking about life after I return. They have witnessed our prayers of joy, thanks and requests. More importantly, we encourage them to do the same and recognize God's answers to our prayers.
I can review my entries and they are still prayers, but God has opened my soul to His promise and love. I haven't stopped praying nor has the enthusiasm dwindled. God has opened my heart, mind and eyes so I may know He is always with me. I feel His presence today more than I ever have. It has been the discipline of prayer and reading the Bible that God has lifted my family and I up. Even though we are 8,000 miles apart, my wife and I have a stronger love for each other because it is Christ centered. Just think, it took this deployment for me to learn these lessons from God.
His plan is always better then mine.
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