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Marriage Struggling
My marriage is struggling. We have been married for ten years and have two children.
There isn't any passion in our relationship. She hates "wet kisses," which includes French kissing. She just wants pecks on the lips, nothing more.
I know that things could be different; I have seen passion displayed in movies and television.
Sex is very boring and routine. It is the same thing, missionary, over and over. Often she asks me to hurry up and finish.
We were both virgins when we got together and I just assumed that things would get better. But it hasn't.
About twice a year she will try a new sex position, but then it is back to the same old, same old. She likes oral sex, for her. She requests this and I happily give it to her, but she will only return the favor maybe once a year.
I can't imagine leaving because I love my kids too much. But I don't know if I can handle another 40 years without passion.
I had a girlfriend in college whose kisses were just electric, so I know something better is out there.
I'm afraid that after another 5 to 10 years of this an affair is going to look really good!
Editors Note:
Have you tried seeing if she will read or listen to stories from this web site with you? They may help her have more passion, give her ideas, and help her see other married couples have lots of fun in this area of intimacy.
Unfortunately wives sometimes don’t fully understand the sexual needs and desires of their husbands. We hope as the married couples explore this web site together it will help the wives and husbands understand each other better.
Remember as you seek God’s will in your life and you seek to serve him by loving your wife and family and others – God will bless you.
And remember to be thankful for your wife. Think of things you can be thankful for about her. For example she likes for you to give her oral sex – that is a blessing. Many wives don’t like that even when the husband wants to give it. Another example is that she is a wife who is devoted to you – that is a blessing.
The more you fall in love with each other, the more passionate the kisses will get. Married couples go through seasons of love. Don’t doubt that things will change in time. If you show your wife unconditional love and keep loving her and not complaining or being critical of anyone or anything in front of her, you will win your heart and she may change.
Our goal in life as Christians is to love God with all our hearts. The primary way we show God that we love him is by loving others around us. Our wife and family is our greatest test – our greatest way we can show God we love him. Beyond our family we want to reach out to our neighbors and community and especially the poor and the spiritually lost. As we see people through God’s eyes we begin to have compassion on them and love them. See your wife through God’s eyes – she is the way she is for a reason. Maybe she is hurting, maybe she was emotionally hurt as a child. Love her unconditionally and she may change.
Then again maybe she doesn’t like to kiss because you have bad breath and she doesn’t want to mention this to you. Maybe you could make sure your breath is fresh and smells like mint and take her out and then on the way home try kissing her passionately in the car or at home after you read a kissing story with her.
I’m sorry you are feeling down about your marriage but a pray you will be encouraged and just trust God and be innovative in your ways to motivate her to be more passionate. I pray God will bless you and help her to see that it is actually her responsibility before God to make you feel sexually loved and desired and to meet your sexual needs and desires. God Bless!
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