Need advice, husband has lower sex drive than me

I need some advice.  My husband either has a low sex drive or I have a pretty high one.  What can I do to increase his drive?

Let me first start off by saying that my husband and I have a beautiful and godly marriage, he always looks out after my interests, when we do have sex it is amazing (both he and I climax every time).  The only problem is that I feel like we don't have enough (maybe 3 times a month tops, sometimes once a month) and I would like it to be more, at least 2 times a week (even my mom and dad accomplish that).  On our 2 week honeymoon we had sex about 40 times so I know that it's in him somewhere.  

I am 25 years old and he is 34.  We are both pretty healthy.  I'm not fat, old or ugly, and haven't changed much in appearance since we first met.  We don't fight a lot (just the usual disagreements here and there, but never yelling or bitterness afterwards).  We have been married for 5 years and have 3 small children, ages 4, 20 months, and 4 months.  He is not depressed or stressed.  I am constantly encouraging him and loving on him.  Communication between us is very open and our spiritual relationships with the Lord are really good.  

I've tried the whole idea of using his senses by wearing lingere, taking a bath, putting on perfume, giving him a massage, making the atmosphere romantic (music, candles and all), walking around the house naked (when my kids are in bed), leaving love notes, whisper in his ear.  And I make sure he gets some time alone to unwind after work and do what he likes to do.    

I no longer ask him if we can have sex, because most of the times that I do he ends up saying maybe and then we don't or he says no (nicely, of course) or he says yes and forgets that he did.  I feel kind of rejected and sometimes a burden.  But I do have needs and I don't want to nag him about sex (which I don't do in the first place).  

So if anyone can give me some advice and some pointers.  I would really appreciate it.

Thank you.

Comments From Readers

A reader says ... As just another possibility, he may have low testosterone.  This can be quickly tested and replenished.  

A reader says ... An even better idea would be for your husband to pick out several stories from MarriageRomance.com for you and he to listen to while you are in bed.  If you go to the "All Love Stories" menu item and then if your husband would check click the check box of several red heart stories under the column that says, "Select All Love Stories You Wish To Hear", and then he would click the "Play Selected Writings" at the top of the page, then all the stories he selected will play consecutively for you while you listen together in bed. For this you need a computer in your bedroom.  The stories are actually full of ideas on how to seduce your spouse.  We listened to some this morning while in bed and I was amazed at the beautiful quality of the stories.  They are so beautifully written.  We thank God for the authors who take the time to submit such wonderfully elegant stories!

A reader says ... Have you tried asking him if you could read some of the intimate stories from MarriageRomance.com to him in bed?  This would be after the kids are asleep and you both have showered and you are in bed together and able to caress each other.   It would be best if you asked him to pick some of the intimate stories out, and print them out, and then let you read them to him as a surprise to you.  He will have already read them, but they will be a surprise to you since you haven't read them yet.  If you get aroused reading them to him, he most likely will become aroused because you are aroused.  But you need to let him know when you are getting turned on.  You can show him you are getting excited by putting his hand where it would feel good and by caressing him too and by the noises you make, such as giggling, moans, sighs, etc. and by ooohying and aahying etc.  When he sees you are getting turned on, most likely he will become very aroused.  May God bless your effort and your marriage!