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Coaching Log 2/22/2006
Marital Status: Married
Gender: Female
Your Age: 25
Age Of Your Spouse: 27
Would you like to learn how to become a Christian? I am a Christian
Is your spouse a Christian? No
How many times a month do you go to church? 4
How many years have you been married? 2MO.
Do you have children? No.
How many children living at home? .
Is your spouse unfair to you? Yes.
Are you unfair to your spouse? Yes.
Does your spouse think you are unfair to them? Yes.
Do you feel angry with your spouse? Yes
Do you feel your spouse is angry with you? Yes
What percent of your time together with your spouse is spent arguing?
50 percent
Do you like being married? No
Do you wish you were single again? Yes
Do you want to stay married? Yes
Would you ever divorce your spouse? Yes
Would your spouse ever divorce you? I Don't Know
MarriageRomance.com may publish all or parts of this coaching session: Yes
Please describe your situation and problem:
Most of our problems are because I am bitter, he made me quit the job I
loves (selling cars) eventhough that is what I was doing when he met me. Now
I stay at home all the time and he leaves me broke to where I have no choice
but to stay. But that is the least of my worries right now. He has a
drinking problem. He goes out with his friends and leaves me here all alone,
wondering when and if he is going to come home. and when I call him and tell
him its time for him to come home cause unlike his friends he IS married.
then he gets mad and says, " thats it you pissed me off and your not being
fair to me" then he wont answer my calls. He did go out all the time in the
begining of our relationship, but the differnce is, is that I use to be with
him, and now that is not even an option. I have threatened him, Ive been
nice about it, but I dont know that I want to live my life this way anymore.
I dont feel that he is going to change. He said things would be better when
we got married in December but they remain the same maybe even worse. What should I do?
Mom tells me to get him in church, but he says Sunday is his only day off
and he wants to sleep. I am running out of ideas. can our marriage be saved?
Or is it even worth saving?
thank you for listening
Coaches Response:
Thank you for contacting MarriageRomance.com for coaching. I will try and encourage you and give you Godly advice. I apologize for taking so long to answer your coaching request.
I read your description of your marriage and it seems hopeless. Unless your husband wants to change it doesn't seem like it will get any better.
Your best bet might be to practice tough love. I would encourage you to buy Dr. Dobson's book “Love Must Be Tough” and read it. Then pray about it and decide what you want to do next.
Sometimes separating from a selfish spouse helps them change.
God warns us in the Bible not to be unequally yoked. What this means is to not marry someone who you think you will have to change. If they aren't the way you want them to be before you get married; then don't marry them. They don't usually change after marriage. And the most important thing is to make sure your religious beliefs are the same.
I would encourage you to be involved at church. Maybe find a small group Bible study at church for young married couples. Then try and see if your husband will come with you to the group.
Pray for your husband daily and try and forgive him the way Jesus forgives us.
I pray your husband will change and I pray you will have wisdom in dealing with him.
God Bless
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