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Coaching Log 3/22/2006
Marital Status: Married
Gender: Female
Your Age: 27
Age Of Your Spouse: 24
Would you like to learn how to become a Christian? Yes
Is your spouse a Christian? No
How many times a month do you go to church? 2
How many years have you been married? 2.
Do you have children? No.
How many children living at home? 1.
Is your spouse unfair to you? Yes.
Are you unfair to your spouse? Yes.
Does your spouse think you are unfair to them? Yes.
Do you feel angry with your spouse? Yes
Do you feel your spouse is angry with you? No
What percent of your time together with your spouse is spent arguing?
30 percent
Do you like being married? Yes
Do you wish you were single again? Yes
Do you want to stay married? Yes
Would you ever divorce your spouse? Yes
Would your spouse ever divorce you? I Don't Know
MarriageRomance.com may publish all or parts of this coaching session: Yes
Please describe your situation and problem:
If feeling like I'm being constantly lied to day by day. I'm trying very
hard to trust again and it seem like it happen all over again. I just dont
know what to do in this situation please help.
Coach says:
Thank you for contacting marriageromance.com for coaching. I am not a
professional but I will try to encourage you and give you Godly advice.
You mentioned that you feel your husband lies to you often and you have
requested help. No one likes to be lied to. Especially by your spouse who
you should be able to trust. To help you be able to help your husband let's
first try and figure out why he lies. He must lie for a reason.
Ask yourself why you think your husband is lying to you. Is it because he
is doing something immoral or illegal? Or is he lying to save face. Is he
lying so that you will not criticize or condemn him for little things that
are not very important.
While it is always wrong to lie, some husband do not like conflict and so
they find it easier to lie to their wife than to tell the truth and get
criticized and put down.
You know your relationship with you husband better than anyone. So which do
you think it is? Is your husband lying about important things - is he
hiding very serious crimes and illegal things? Is he lying about another
woman and hiding cheating or an affair?
Or is it more that he can not face up to being put down by his wife and so
he lies about things in order to save his self-esteem?
Another reason why some people lie is that they have a bed habit of lying.
They may have lied to their parents or to their teachers in high school and
they think they can go through life lying. If this is the case of your
husband he needs to mature. He may need to be convinced that it is ok to
tell you the truth. He may not realize that you love him and that you will
accept him even when he messes up. He may not realize that it is ok to tell
you the truth, that you will not put him down when he makes mistakes.
Please write back with your thoughts about why he lies and then we can
dialog some more.
You can pray for him throughout the day and ask God to help him not to lie
and ask God to help you treat him with respect and love so that he will not
be tempted to lie in order to avoid criticism.
God Bless
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