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It's Time I Look at What I Can Do For The Marriage
I have recently come to the realization that my husband is not happy with our marriage because I have not been thinking enough about his needs. I have been working hard, earning money, going to church, keeping house, but I haven't focused enough on his needs. I thought I was an almost perfect wife, but I now know that I think mostly about my personal goals and my needs.
It was a wake up call when my husband told me this morning that he works so much overtime because his time alone with me is not enjoyable. First, I was really angry that he said something so insensitive to me, but then I thought, that's what he feels, and I can't change how he feels with my anger or with anything I say in response to that, such as how my feelings were hurt.
I have to change me and how I talk to him, treat him, and think of him, and I need to hear out how he feels. Please pray for me to have the strength and endurance to do this!
Editor:
We will be praying for you and for your husband. You were very wise to not react to his communication and instead realize that emotions are neither right nor wrong - they just are. And since a husband and wife love each other, the best thing they can do is listen to their spouse and try and change things to make their spouse happier. And that is exactly what you said you are doing. You are on the right track as if Dr. Phil himself had given you advice!
A good book is "His Needs, Her Needs". If you read the book together (take turns reading it to each other) and pause to take the time to comment on it as you read it, you will both learn so much about each other's needs that it will really help your marriage.
And of course all the books in the world on marriage can be summed up in this one statement, which is to "Love God with all your heart and your neighbor as yourself." When you love your husband as yourself, you respect him, you listen to him, you never criticize him, you build him up, you like being with him, and he ends up liking being around you. And when you love God with all your heart you never complain about anything but instead you are thankful in all things and so you are a happy person and your husband likes that about you too.
Well, I didn't mean to ramble on. I know many others will be praying for your marriage also. I'll go ahead and give you and your husband a free month of subscription so that you and he can together browse through the romance ideas and marriage stories. I pray they will be a blessing in your marriage.
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