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Wondering if this is Normal
Wondering if this is Normal.
Question:
Day after day I cry and feel depressed inside because of the way that my husband treats me he doesn稚 physically abuse me but I feel that he emotional abuses me. I feel so sad when he doesn稚 seem to agree with me. He seems to think that I知 over doing it or that I知 just a big crybaby. It seems like work and his friends are more important than me and our marriage.
Sometimes I believe him when he says that I知 over doing it but then I really think to myself and I know that I知 not. He always seems to win me over when I知 crying but we never solve anything because we never talk about how to work things out. I feel like I知 just a broken record repeating everything over and over again I don稚 know what to do to make him understand what I知 feeling.
Answer:
Hopefully others will comment on ideas to help you with your husband. My first impression is that you are normal and your husband should work on changing to try and be more gentle and kind to you. Men can be very harsh and seemingly verbally cruel at times. They usually do not intend to be mean but maybe they are unhappy at the moment and so they vent their anger and frustration at their wife or family. This happens often in homes where the husband is not living to please God by showing God's love to others.
One thing you can do is to not take his emotional abuse personally. If you realize he is sick then it is easier to not argue with him and defend yourself. Try to be concerned about what he is complaining about but simply say you are sorry instead of defending yourself. You may find that he softens some in his abuse.
The fact that he wins you over when you are crying shows that he does care about you. It seems that his style of communication when he is frustrated or tries to correct you, comes across as harsh or abusive to you. Does he try to change? When he is trying to comfort you when you are crying, does he say he will try to do better next time? If he does that is good. But if he continues to seem harsh and emotionally abusive, it seems he has an anger problem. Some men do have an anger problem when things at work are not going well or something else is causing stress in their lives.
You can pray for him and not take his frustration with you personally but rather simply try to agree with him and show him unconditional love. God will help him mature with time if you remain loving towards him. Please share your thoughts in the comments section and hopefully others will share their thoughts also. God Bless and I've prayed for you and your husband.
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