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I Feel Like Giving Up!
I don't know where to start so I'll start at the beginning. We have been married almost 7 years and our bond was always tight, we communicated with each other, had a great intimate life, took trips and vacations together. We saw each other through hard times such as job loss, death, and other obstacles.
My husband is a Minister and about 3 months ago I noticed a change in his behavior, he became distant and withdrawn, He basically has stopped intimate contact and wasn't as romantic toward me. He also started to find fault with me and sometimes had an attitude for no reason. I knew his father was ill and figured he was having a hard time dealing with that. Nothing ever prepared me for what I'm going through right now.
About a month ago my husband started complaining about his email and receiving porn, so me being the wife I am I logged on to set his spam filter for him and that's when my world fell apart. Apparently him and his ex had been contacting each other via email and telephone. She told him she was pregnant by him years ago and he told her that he would have never married me or left me because she is what his heart, there were several emails back and forth that basically made me feel like I was less than a woman to him.
When I approached him about these emails he told me that was his cousin and she wanted to make her boyfriend jealous and by the way she's supposedly a minister too! I did not believe his explanation and left it along. I started to pray even harder for my marriage. About a week ago she contacted him again with an ultimatum stating that he had until the end of the year to leave me and that the Holy Spirit was telling her they should be together and no weapon formed against us shall prosper.
At this I was more angry than anything. I emailed her and told her who I was, I also quoted to her some scriptures about adultery. I knew that she lived in TN and we are in Chicago so no physical contact came to play but it made me wonder about women who he knew that did stay here. When my husband found out about my email to her He never came home we did have a pretty heated argument on the phone and I assumed that my husband loved me enough to come home and work things out.
He has now been gone for a week all of his clothes and personal belongings are here with me. I have spoken with him personally since he's a minister at our church and he told me he was taking inventory of his life and that he was emotionally unstable, going through spiritual warfare, and that he was praying for us and that he was staying with his mother.
I really don't understand this because he seems to be functioning in every other area of his life work, theology school, church etc. I have been praying that whatever it is he's going through he will communicate with me. I have been praying for our marriage continually and have been crying out to the Lord to point me in the right direction.
It hurts that he's not here with me and I never expected this since we had such a tight bond. I have read some of the stories on this site and I know there is hope. I ask that anyone who reads this lift us up in your prayers for I know with God all things are possible.
Editors Note: Wow, you are going through a difficult time. God can work in your husband's heart to change him. If he is obedient to God he will stick with you because you are his current wife. God hates divorce and your experience demonstrates why. But now the divorce is over and you are married to your husband and God expects him to stick with you and not look back. I pray your husband will do the right thing and come back to you and break off ties with his ex wife. I pray others will be praying for you also. God bless.
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