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Coaching Log 11/16/2006
Maritial Status: Married
Gender: Female
Your Age: 33
Age Of Your Spouse: 37
Would you like to learn how to become a Christian? Yes
Is your spouse a Christian? No
How many times a month do you go to church? 0
How many years have you been married? 1.
Do you have children? Yes.
How many children living at home? 2.
Is your spouse unfair to you? Yes.
Are you unfair to your spouse? Yes.
Does your spouse think you are unfair to them? Yes.
Do you feel angry with your spouse? Yes
Do you feel your spouse is angry with you? Yes
What percent of your time together with your spouse is spent arguing?
30 percent
Do you like being married? Yes
Do you wish you were single again? No
Do you want to stay married? Yes
Would you ever divorce your spouse? No
Would your spouse ever divorce you? I Don't Know
MarriageRomance.com may publish all or parts of this coaching session: Yes
(Excluding names of coach and coachee)
Please describe your situation and problem:
i feel a sense of insecurity, not good enough as a mother or wife
feel inferior to my best friend and feel that my husband like the fact that
she is independant, in-charge type of person, can do anything and
everything, has knowledge of lots i.e computers etc, thinner than me
feel that my kids from my first marriage are a pain to my current husband
althoug he does a lot for them
feel he talks to me as if i am a child
feel unhappy with him and never felt this way when we started dating up and
till recently. feel that he might get tired of my nonsense, lose interest
and divorce me
Coaches Response:
Thank you for contacting MarriageRomance.com for coaching. I am not a
professional counselor. I am a Christian brother who will try and encourage
you and give you Godly advice.
I read your description of your feelings and I just want to encourage you.
You express feelings of insecurity in your relationship with your husband. You mentioned that he seems to talk to you as if you are a child. You also compare yourself to your friend and you think your husband likes her because she seems more independent.
You mentioned that you are a Christian and your husband is not a Christian and that you do not go to church.
Without a relationship with God, life is insecure and meaningless. I would encourage you to seek God. I would encourage you to go to church regularly and see if your husband will go with you. This also could show your husband that you are independent and going places in life.
If you get saved and are living your life to serve God and living to love others, then you will become more independent. You will begin to show your husband that you are your own person and you really care about loving him and loving your children and caring also about others. If you could get involved with a small group Bible study group from church in someones house and then invite your husband to go with you, he may think more highly of you.
If you keep your house clean and feed your children regularly and have dinner ready for your husband and you also excresize regularly and get your family to bed early each night and you basically live and self-controlled life but still show lots of love and compassion to your children and others, and if you also diet so you look the best you can for your husband, I believe your husband will really be impressed with you and think very highly of you.
I don't know if you work, so maybe some of my suggestions are not possible if you work during the day. But if you get to stay at home, then work hard at being the best wife and mother you can be, and still maintain a love and respect for your chidren and your husband. The Bible calls this "doing everything as unto the Lord." See you do your chores and work as if you were doing for God himself. You can also do the best you can to impress your husband.
Also try and find some form of excersize to do so that you keep in shape and maybe you can take a break from the kids and get some time alone to exercize. Husbands sometimes like wives that do things like this, it shows they are independent. Maybe you could play tennis with a girl friend or with your husband or walk with your husband or with some other woman you know.
I can tell from your concerns that you are a wonderful wife and mother and maybe your husband does not compliment you and tell you how wonderful you are, enough times.
But remember God loves you and just keep being the best you can be for your husband and family and seek to know God by going to church or listening to Christian radio broadcasts and reading your Bible and praying and God will bless you. Because the Bible says that "Faith is believing that God is a rewarder of those that diligently seek him."
I pray you will be encouraged and that God will give you the self-confidence you need so that you can bless others by showing Gods love to them - and especially to your husband and children.
Sincerely
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