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the beginning , the middle but not an end
It all began 12 years ago at my high school friend's brother's funeral. My husband was there but at the time I didn't know him. He was there in black jogging pants and a black t-shirt. I thought that maybe something was wrong with him. My friend's brother died of muscular dystrophy and I just assumed that he was part of her family.
There was an empty seat beside him that he offered to me, telling me that "he wouldn't bite." So during the service I sat down next to him. He explained that he was driving his dad's truck and asked me if I was going to the cemetery afterward. He also explained his attire; he had had back surgery just two months before. He had to wear a cast and the outfit was the only thing that fit him.
I thought he seemed harmless so I gave him a ride. We talked quite a bit and found we had many things in common. He said that he would like to see me again. I told him that I was going to college about an hour from here. If he ever got over that way he was more than welcome to look me up.
We exchanged numbers and talked on the phone for a couple of weeks. Then one day he showed up at my work. He had hitched a ride without his parents knowing just so that he could come see me. I gave him the keys to my apartment and told him to wait for me there. We had a nice weekend; I showed him around campus. His mom came and picked him up Sunday. He told his mom that day at 19 he was going to marry me.
In December of 1996, he asked me to marry him. Regrettably, before we got married I was pregnant. We were engaged for over a year but the temptation overtook us. I was 2 months pregnant on my wedding day. However, we have a beautiful girl. Actually, after ten years, we have 2 beautiful girls and a wonderful boy
Now my marriage has not always been perfect. He was an over-the-road truck driver for 5 years. I found out in 2003 that my husband had cheated on me, not once but several times. Six months before he quit driving, he talked to our pastor about his infidelity. The pastor recommended that he talk to me.
When he told me, I thought my life was over, the life I had known and become accustomed to had vanished. I prayed and prayed to God to give me strength to get through it. I prayed for his grace that I could see past all the pain and still love my husband.
I realized that, not only had he betrayed the vows between us on our wedding day, the day that he wept with joy over our union, he had also betrayed God. We went to marriage counseling. The counselor turned to me and asked me why I would want to stay with him.
I thought about it for a while; I said only this "this illness that he has, this perversion, is only one side of him, it isn't all of him. I know that he is a good man and a good father. I am willing to wait until he realizes it himself. I still love him." He has been to the altar and to the pastor many times since then.
Our relationship has grown more. We talk about what bothers us about each other and we recognize when we need to be intimate with each other. When he was on the road, the only intimacy we got from each other was over the phone.
God did grant me everything I needed to deal with our issues. We will be celebrating our 10th anniversary this May by renewing our vows. People change over time but as long as you change together you are able to share your lives together. We still have issues now. They are issues that are not nearly as serious and we have learned to rely on each other and pray together for God's guidance.
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