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The Dangers Of Porn Sunday At Church
Several months ago it was "Porn Sunday" at our church. Yes there were big red "XXX Porn Sunday” signs up at the church announcing "XXX Porn Sunday". Our Pastor taught us that anything that you read, or hear or see that increases your emotion or passion of sexual desire is sinful and has no place in a marriage.
While our Pastor condemned most men in the congregation, including himself, and almost as many women (for reading romance novels), he had no Biblical justification for his accusations, except that using all erotic materials in a marriage is "sexually impure".
Yes our Pastor included looking at newspaper ads, looking at commercials on TV and he included reading stories and books and watching movies.
Our pastor tried to say that our marriages today are very impure in comparison to Biblical standards.
However, from my reading of the Bible marriages have come a long way towards purity in comparison with Bible days.
We don't have multiple wives and concubines as was permitted in Bible times.
And in comparison to the 1700's to 1900's, at least today our wives do not go to the doctor for hysteria where the doctor would masturbate them to orgasm.
Is allowing married couples to use moral erotic materials in their marriages to help keep their marriages strong asking too much? Especially when God does not condemn them?
Jesus was a Rabbi. A Rabbi had a yoke. A yoke was a list of rules that the Rabbi felt everyone should keep to get to heaven. Jesus said in Matthew 11:30, “For my yoke is easy and my burden is light."
Several times people asked Jesus what his yoke was. Jesus taught that we should keep Gods laws that are in the Bible and especially that we should love God and love our neighbor as ourself. One time Jesus responded by saying, "Do not murder, do not commit adultery, do not steal, do not give false testimony, honor your father and mother, and 'love your neighbor as yourself." (Matthew 19 verses 16 to 21)
Paul teaches that beyond God's written laws in the Bible, that “all things are permissible but not all things are profitable. (1 Corinthians 10:23)” So if moral erotic materials can help a marriage then they are profitable. If using the erotic materials in the marriage does not help the marriage, then they are not profitable and the married couple will stop using them.
The beauty of Gods Grace is that it helps us not judge others for things that God does not judge them for. When we don't make up rules beyond what God has given us then we tend to focus on what is profitable to further God's Kingdom in our lives. And we also get our sense of holiness from remembering it is a free gift Jesus has given us and out of thankfulness we are motivated to serve God and others instead of from keeping rules.
But when we live by rules, we tend to judge others who don't keep our rules. This hurts us and it hurts them. We also tend to get our feeling of holiness from how well we keep our rules. Did we have devotions today? Did we go to church on Sunday night? Living by rules or legalism tends to paralyze us as Christians. We tend to feel comfortable with just keeping the rules and we never get around to doing the good works we were called to do.
That is why God did away with the law and introduced Grace and forgiveness of sins through Jesus Christ. So that we can throw out the rules and instead measure our holiness by how well we serve and love others.
Of course God does want us to keep all the moral directives and rules and laws He has given us in the Ten Commandments and the rest of the Bible. But isn't it funny that most of the rules that we as Christians use to condemn others are not even rules that are in the Bible? Like drinking, dancing, playing cards, going to church, reading your bible everyday, smoking, looking at porn, abortion, stem cell research and the list could go on. These are all good ideas and they all are extensions of principles in the Bible, but if we are honest we will admit that the Bible does not condemn any of these directly.
The problem with teaching that looking at porn is adultery in the heart, is that when when a wife discovers her husband looked at porn, she is devasted and ready to divorce.
The Bible doesn't say anything about porn. Nudity was common in the Bible. If God had wanted to condemn naked dancers or nudity in general, God would have done so very clearly in the Bible. But there is no dress code in the Bible.
I am against porn for the reasons the Bible condemns it. The Bible says God hates sin and so should we. So if a movie or story promotes or condones immoral behavior, regardless of how it is rated, we should not enjoy it. If it took sin to make a video or movie then we should not like it. Or if we have an obsession with something we should control our self. Or if something causes us to covet and not be content with what we have, then we should avoid the temptation.
And in the case of marriage; married couples should save all their sexual energy for each other. This is based on Paul's teaching that your body is not your own but is owned by your spouse. (1 Corinthians 7 3-5)
But we need to use God's definition of what is immoral, or our governments definition, not necessarily a legalistic traditional definition. That is why it is important to know what was moral and what was considered immoral in the Bible.
If a husband and wife both agree to use moral erotic materials in their marriage, to help increase passion in their marriage, this is blessed by God.
The verse the Pastor used to condemn all erotic materials in a marriage was Matthew 5:28 where Jesus says, “But I say unto you, that whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”
What the Pastor failed to point out was that Jesus was referring to coveting married women. The Pastor failed to tell us about the verse before. The two verses go together and in fact are one sentence.
Matthew 5 verses 27 and 28 say, “Ye have heard that it was said by them of old time, Thou shalt not commit adultery: But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart. “
Jesus is talking about coveting a married woman. Jesus first quotes the seventh commandment which is “Thou shalt not commit adultery”. According to Old Testament law, men were permitted to have sex with any woman except married women and virgins. That is why Abraham had sex with Hagar. That is why King David had 300 wives and concubines. A concubine was like a live in prostitute. She did not have the rights of a wife.
Jesus would not have been condemning looking at women in general since men were permitted to have sex with most women. Instead Jesus was saying that coveting a married woman is just as bad as having sex with the married woman.
Notice Jesus uses the word “adultery” in both parts of the sentence. First when he quotes the Old Testament and then again when he refers to adultery in the heart. Notice Jesus did not say “whosoever looked on any woman hath committed "sexual immorality" in his heart.” Jesus uses the word “adultery” again because he is still referring to a married woman.
If Jesus had meant to say looking at all women was sin he would have said looking at any or all women was sin or "sexual immorality". Jesus would not have said “adultery” unless he meant “adultery” – which refers to a married woman.
Bible scholars agree with this interpretation, even though many Pastors still twist this around to condemn husbands for looking at newspaper ads, and TV commercials and in the process destroy many marriages. It is no wonder the Christian divorce rate is higher than the divorce rate of unbelievers.
The correct interpretation which is in harmony with the Ten Commandments is that all men (married and unmarried) are guilty of adultery if they "covet" a married woman.
Jesus was referring to the seventh and the tenth commandments and was basically saying that it is adultery to covet your neighbor's wife.
Most likely Jesus statement on lust was aimed at the Pharisees who kept the law but lacked God's love and compassion for others.
Jesus had harsh words for those who impose rules and laws on others that they cannot even keep themselves.
In Matthew 23 verse 3b to 4 here is what Jesus said about teachers who impose man-made rules on others that they can not even keep themselves, “But do not do what they do, for they do not practice what they preach. They tie up heavy loads and put them on men's shoulders, but they themselves are not willing to lift a finger to move them.”
Here is what Jesus had to say about those who make converts and then impose man-made rules on them. In Matthew 23 verse 15 Jesus said, “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You travel over land and sea to win a single convert, and when he becomes one, you make him twice as much a son of hell as you are.”
And here is what Jesus had to say about those teachers who appear to be very “pure” but who live a materialistic life void of the good works they were called to do as Christians, “Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You clean the outside of the cup and dish, but inside they are full of greed and self-indulgence.”
But the most powerful statement Jesus made that would indicate Pastors should not try and pit wives against husbands with man-made laws on erotic materials is what Jesus said in Matthew 12:7 when Jesus said, “If you had known what these words mean, 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice,' you would not have condemned the innocent.”
Today Pastors are condemning the innocent with man-made laws relating to all erotic materials and destroying marriages in the process.
It is time that Christians stand up and rightly divide the Word of God and form a denomination that lives by what the Bible teaches. We need a new denomination that is committed to living by the commands that God has given us in the Bible and is committed to resisting man-made laws.
For example this denomination should be against homosexuality because it is condemned in the Bible, but it should allow husbands and wives to use moral erotic materials in their marriage.
This denomination should allow people to follow their consciences but stop short of preaching things that are not in the Bible. Every issue should be fairly researched in the Bible and the truth should be told to the congregation. If there was such a denomination I believe that Christianity would spread quickly.
Christian religious leaders think that they are persecuted because they are like Jesus. But who persecuted Jesus? It was the religious self-righteous.
Now if we again begin to teach the true Gospel of Jesus Christ with true Grace and true Mercy the way Jesus taught it, we too will be persecuted by the self-righteous of today. But I believe after we give up legalism and embrace true Grace, the Holy Spirit will begin to move in big ways and save billions on earth and and save and change the lives and marriages of our world.
The common people did not persecute Jesus. Jesus said that “by this shall all men know that ye are my disciples, that ye love one another.” The common people loved Jesus and they loved the early church.
Christians should be likeable people. If we would only preach against sin as defined in the Bible, people would really like us.
The Pastor insisted that all men sign up with a Internet tracking service so that if any man goes to a web sitep that is deemed a porn site, an email would be sent to an accountability partner who would call the man and hold him accountable. The Pastor pressured every man to fill out a card and he said someone would contact them within 48 hours.
This sounds like legalism to me. God wants us to love him and love others and obey him based on a changed heart, not based on a system of man-made laws. Paul said that when a man goes back to a system of law, he has fallen away from grace and he is obligated to keep the whole law (Galatians 5:3-5 ) .
I remember when I heard the sermon; I told my wife, "I would guess his sermon will cause at least 10 divorces."
Incidentally about a month after the porn Sunday a young husband from the church committed suicide. He had two young toddlers and his wife. I can't help but think that the Pastor turned his wife against him or somehow embarrassed him and he simply gave up.
Paul warned that a system of law would destroy Christians. In Galatians 5 verses 13 to 15 Paul said, “You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love. The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself." If you keep on biting and devouring each other, watch out or you will be destroyed by each other.”
Notice the fruit of a Christian life is “service” out of love, not keeping rules out of legalism. Notice Paul said that system of law causes Christians to be biting and devouring each other and it ends up destroying each other.
In contrast Paul teaches that “all things are permissible but not all things are profitable” (1 Corinthians 6:12, 1 Corinthians 10:23).
A system of law does not work. Only God can change hearts. Once a heart is changed from the inside out, the person will not want to do the things they did before that are not profitable. God wants to change our perspective on life. I have the freedom to go to any Internet site I choose. But I don't go to porn sites. I'm busy about my Father's business. I'm on fire for God. I don't need an Internet tracking company to be my conscience. I do what is profitable for my marriage. And my wife and I have the freedom in Christ to use erotic materials in our marriage if we so desire.
The devil has Christians paralyzed with their own man-made laws. They get their sense of holiness from keeping their own set of rules. Instead God wants Christians to not have man-made rules so they will not be tempted to judge others who do not keep their rules. And instead God wants them to live the rules God has given us that are summed up by the one rule – “love your neighbor as yourself”. Christians who live by this rule will be busy doing the good works they are called to do. And they will have the freedom in Christ to know that beyond God's rules He has given us in the Bible, that “all things are permissible but not all things are profitable” and so they will do whatever it takes to be profitable in building the Kingdom of heaven in their own lives and in the world.
If you know of a Christian denomination that truly understands God's Grace please tell us about it in the comments below.
I have studied the New Testament and have found that holiness and purity and righteousness are dependent on good works and love, not man-made rule keeping.
Most Christians keep the "yoke" Jesus gave us in the Bible. How many Christians do you know that steal, commit adultery, murder, and bear false witness? I don't know any. What we lack as Christians is to do the good works we are called to do. God calls us to live a life where our central purpose in life is to further His Kingdom in our life and in the world.
God does condemn loving the world and the things of the world. If anything, Christians are obsessed with the world and the things of the world. But as they realize their mission here on earth they will change their focus and resources from self-gratification to furthering God's Kingdom as they see what is profitable in building God's Kingdom.
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