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Sexual Lust
“Sexual Lust” means many things to many people. In this article I hope to go back to the Bible and search the scriptures for a Biblical definition of “sexual lust”.
The words “lust” and “covet” are used interchangeably in the Bible. The concept of lust comes from the Tenth Commandment in Exodus 20:17 where it says, “You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor.”
From reading the Tenth Commandment we begin to develop a Biblical definition of lust.
In the tenth commandment where it says “You shall not covet your neighbor's wife”, the word used for “covet” is the Hebrew word “Chamad”.
Then in the New Testament in the Sermon on the Mount, where Jesus says, “whoever looks at a woman to lust for her”, He uses the Greek word “epithumeo” which has been translated “lust”. However most likely Jesus was referring back to the tenth commandment and the word should properly be translated “covet” instead of “lust”.
Click here to read more about this.
One of the most important things to God is that we be content with what we have. Covetousness is the result of not being happy with what we have.
And yet it is not sin to think our neighbor's house is beautiful, or to think our neighbor's wife is beautiful; as long as we do not become unhappy and wish they were ours.
Sexual lust is not “sexual desire”, but rather a feeling of being discontent and wishing we had something that isn't ours.
"Sexual desire" is an emotion and emotions are neither right nor wrong. The reason having emotions are not sin is because they cannot be controlled by a persons mind or will.
There are other forms of coveting which are mentioned in the Tenth Commandment, which are equally as bad as the sin of “sexual lust”. These are the sins of coveting material possessions, such as our neighbor's house or manservant, maidservant, ox, donkey or anything else.
But sexual lust or covetousness, in the Bible is not just a feeling of being discontent and wishing your wife looked as beautiful as some other woman; just like wishing you had a three car garage like the neighbors is not by itself covetousness either.
Whether it be lusting after material possessions, or coveting sexually, both require more than a wishful thinking to be sin.
Sexual lust and covetousness are the result of an attitude of being discontent and a mind-set of wishing you had something else.
Have you ever had a nagging desire to have something? Can you remember wanting something so bad that your thoughts of wanting it consumed much of your time?
I remember our family lived in a two-bedroom apartment with four kids. And my wife became discontent with our living conditions to the point where she became very unhappy and all she could think about was buying a home.
I was raised on the mission field in Mexico where families with six or eight children, live in a two-room adobe home. So I did not relate to my wife's needs like I should have. But I remember thinking that it was amazing that one more bedroom could make the difference between a very unhappy wife that seemed to hate me, and a happy wife that would love me. This might be a good example of coveting something. When you want something that you can't have, so much that it begins to give you a bad attitude towards others; it's a good sign that you are coveting.
When Jesus said that “looking at a woman to lust after her is adultery”, I believe Jesus was referring to a married man who is coveting other women because he has decided he is not happy with his own wife. This man has an adulterous heart, meaning he is not happy with his wife and he is just burning inside wishing he could have other women.
“Sexual Lust” is a form of covetousness, which is the result of not being happy with what you have.
In doing a word study of sexual “lust” in the Bible, I discovered that all other references to “lust” outside of the Sermon On The Mount show that “sexual lust” is not linked with looking at a woman but rather a conscious desire to commit adultery or fornication.
In each case in the Bible, when God talks about lust, God refers to a person or people who were thinking about, or are committing sex outside of marriage.
Each time it refers to lust in a sexual context, there was adultery or prostitution involved or it is warning against these sins.
Click here to see what Jesus said about lust.
In Proverbs 6: 24-26 it says, “…keeping you from the immoral woman, from the smooth tongue of the wayward wife. Do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes, for the prostitute reduces you to a loaf of bread, and the adulteress preys upon your very life.”
In this example, in Proverbs, God warns a young man not to lust in his heart after the beauty of an immoral prostitute or wayward wife because she would destroy him. But God does not condemn the young man for desiring to marry a young virgin who would make him a good wife.
The other times it mentions lust in the Bible, it is referring to people who already committed the physical sin of adultery or fornication. Here are some examples, Isaiah 57 4-6, Jeremiah 5: 7-9, Ezekiel 6: 9, Ezekiel 23:20 where God is always either warning not to lust after the prostitute or God uses the sexual words like lust but is actually speaking in allegories saying His people committed spiritual lust for foreign Gods and that they committed spiritual adultery.
Let's look at Jeremiah 5: 7 and 8. It says, “Why should I forgive you? Your children have forsaken me and sworn by gods that are not gods. I supplied all their needs, yet they committed adultery and thronged to the houses of prostitutes. They are well-fed, lusty stallions, each neighing for another man's wife.”
The phrase “well-fed, lusty stallions, each neighing for another man's wife,” is a good example showing that “lust” refers to coveting.
Another example is Jeremiah 13 26 and 27. It says, “I will pull up your skirts over your face that your shame may be seen your adulteries and lustful neighings your shameless prostitution! I have seen your detestable acts on the hills and in the fields. Woe to you, O Jerusalem! How long will you be unclean?"”
In this passage God is referring to Israel and again mentions the “lustful neighings” in the context of prostitution.
If you study the Bible you will see when it talks about sexual lust, it is always in the context of a physical act, or an intention to commit a physical sin of adultery or fornication.
Let's take for example I Thessalonians 4: 3-5, where it says, “It is God's will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God …”
This might sound like sexual desire by itself is wrong, but in the original text the phrase “to control his own body” means, “learn to live with his own wife”, or “learn to acquire a wife”.
When the verse says, “not in passionate lust like the heathen” it is referring to they way people lived at that time, where having sex outside of marriage, for example with temple prostitutes, was very common and even expected in the pagan religions.
I've concluded from studying the Bible that “sexual lust” is always connected with a desire of wanting to have sex outside of marriage.
Wanting to be married, or wishing you could be married so you could have sex is never condemned.
In my study of sexual lust and covetousness in general, it is clear that looking at a male or female or looking at a picture of a person is not sin by itself, just like looking at a new home or new car, or picture of a new home or new car is not sin by itself. Both kinds of covetousness require a heart that is discontent with what they have.
So is it sin for a man to look at a naked woman? It is sin if the man who looks at the woman covets the woman. If the man who sees the naked woman wishes in his heart that the woman were his, it is covetousness. A man who covets a woman without clothes on will most likely also be coveting women with clothes on. The sin of coveting is a heart problem.
I remember growing up, during the mission's conference each year at church, there seemed to usually be some slides or movie footage of naked women in Africa. I remember wondering as a child why it was ok to look at these naked pictures, but it was sin for me to see my mother or sister naked.
I eventually discovered when I reached adolescence that looking at a naked woman can cause an increase in the emotion sexual desire. Click here to read why men like to look at females.
I recommend that married couples stop doing all secret sexually related activities behind each other's back. Instead I recommend they sit down and try to find ways to meet each other's needs.
To find what the Bible says about pornography please click here.
There is another form of lust; which is when we are obsessed with something. Click here to read about this kind of lust.
All bible quotes taken from NIV.
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