Want wife to love me again

I do not know how to function sometimes.  My wife tells me that she does not "have those feelings for me anymore" and that she wants a divorce as soon as we can afford it.  I have done everything possible to be as good a father and husband as possible over the years, but financially things have gone very bad at times.  But still I treat her and I love her just the same as I did 19 years ago when we got married.  

I have never been unfaithful, I have never talked about her to anyone else except in a good and positive way.  She is a good Christian lady and I love her, but I feel so betrayed because she has said that she just is out of love for me (blames me for the finances) and it is not there and it will not return.  We have 3 wonderful kids and as a kid of divorced parents myself I cannot explain to her how poorly that affects a kid's life.  She just gets angry every time I bring it up and ends up telling me that she does not love me and does not want me in any way.  

We do make love about 2 times a month, but the majority of the time she just is "not interested" and lets me know in no uncertain terms how she is just letting me use her.  She is truly a great lady and I love her so much.  If she tries to break up my family--HOW DO WOMEN SEPERATE THEIR HUSBANDS FROM THEIR FAMILIES?? I CANNNOT SEPERATE MY WIFE FROM MY KIDS, I LOVE THEM ALL--but if she tries to break up my family I do not know what I will do.  

Please do not suggest leaving her notes or sending her flowers, I have done it all and she never says a thing, never comments, never says thanks or hugs me or kisses me or on most days even comes close to me.  Still, she is so beautiful and I love her.  I would give 10 years off my life just to have ONE SINGLE DAY with my wife the way she was for the first 15 years.  But now I don't know what to do?  Any thoughts or suggestions?

Comments From Readers

A reader says ... Explain to her that God honors obedience.  If she will obey God and keep her promise to stay married to you, the feelings will follow.  But as long as she gives into the devils temptation to get divorced, that blocks God from helping her feelings to change.  First she has to decide to stay married.  Then God will change her feelings towards you.  It is only because she has this fantasy of a better life single or remarried, that she is not content with what God has given her now.  

A reader says ... You are a special man to stick with a wife who continually says she does not love you.  Love though is a decision not a feeling.  And as long as she stays with you she is loving you by her actions.  She can change.  Ask her what it is about you that she wishes you would change the most.  Ask her to make a list of things she would change about you if she could.  Then tell her you will commit to change all the things on the list.  Then each week see if she will meet with you to go over the list and see if you are improving in each area.  I pray God will give you wisdom and God will change her heart.

A reader says ... When you ask her what happened after those 15 years, what does she say?