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After virtual romances she chose me again
This has been a rough week.
Its only a little bit more then a week ago that I checked the computer of my wife and found she had been sending love emails to other men. She had been exchanging photo's, sexual stories, and even fell deeply in love with someone else then her own husband.
When I confronted her, she told me she did not really love me any more, and was searching for more excitement in her life. My heart broke, after more then 17 years of marriage I was not good enough any more for her.
Some people say it is not really adultery, because there was no sexual contact. I can tell you the pain is not less real this way. Even if it was an exchange of only stories, love letters and photo's, the pain is caused by rejection and it hurts.
The big problem with this is that the 'world' views sexual contacts via instant messaging or email as harmless and not really a problem. It is living the dream.
Well... the dream is what is says: just a dream. If a woman has contact with a man because it feels good to be naughty, will that other man ever show the same commitment to the woman as her own husband will? No, most men are just looking for short and interesting sex contacts, and are not interested in longer term relationships or even marriage.
This story has a good ending: We talked and talked about what happened, and she discovered that she was chasing a dream, and that her actions were causing so much pain and agony in the lives of her family. Chasing her dream was never worth causing so much problems. In her dream world she thought that she could do this without being caught and without causing pain. But you can't, you really can't. So she made a choice: she chose in favor of her married life.
So now we are back on the right track. Together we try to make our married life more interesting; I am saying and e-mailing things to here that I would have never dreamt to say or to mail: fantasies, poems, little notes. And slowly I see that she starts to love me again... it is really worth all the effort.
The pain is not gone. It can't be, not after just a week. We will need more time. It will be some time before I can trust her again; before I will not have second thoughts when she talks to another man or sends out an email. But we'll get there. Eventually.
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