|
Coming to terms with a manipulative relationship.
I truly empathize with you because I came across this article only while searching for free marriage counseling since I am currently unemployed. All that you described are exactly my present situation and my health is deteriorating as a result. I am a Christian man and have been praying alone about this since my wife is also disinterested in prayer with me. I am suffering more because 10 years ago my wife did the very same thing and no amount of effort on my part prevented her from leaving with my newborn son. We reconciled while attending the same church after the initial break up and I insisted on premarital counseling after dating again. 6 months of premarital counseling, a second child (daughter) which she wanted most, purchased a home right after the marriage (an idea she was against but I saw through because I still felt that regardless of the changes she had made I did not want to return home to a rented apartment to find my family gone), she once more reverted to manipulation, lies and emotional abuse as soon as my daughter was born.
The sudden changes that lead to her isolating me usually begin with denial that she is doing so until she can find the most minute reason to justify her prior hostility. She declares that we need counseling every 6 months but does nothing about it until I usually seek out a counselor. We usually need counseling whenever I disagree with her opinion on a subject and from the date when she makes that declaration there is no physical contact, casual discussion or communication on anything else outside issues that relate to the children. In a nutshell, tonight I am still awaiting the names of 3 counselors recommended through her employee assistance program and the reason for the 3 week delay is that she can't find which of her handbags the information is in. As I write it is 10:33 pm and she has used the excuse that my daughter is refusing to go to bed to lie in her bed with her. She will sleep there till morning. I quit my job due to unending pressure over my work schedule, which she requested I do. As soon as I quit the job after so much pressure and reassurance from her she immediately isolated me and I honestly believe that I may not be in my home by the Christmas or New Year. You love her I know and would do anything to hold your family together.
However, I cannot hold back the tears as I say this but she will leave you as soon as she finishes school. Mine would have me out before the year is over and that is why she manipulated me into unemployment even though my employer’s actions had a lot to do with me accepting that decision. I am home cooking, cleaning, chauffeuring her to work and the kids to and fro while totally isolated. Should I find a job that would offer a favorable schedule tonight her reasons would evolve to another issue? Good luck and I pray that even if mine appears hopeless that your situation is better. Good night.
|
|