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Due Benevolence
God commands a husband and wife to render unto each other due benevolence according to I Corinthians 7:3. First of all, I am a very blessed man, as my wife and I do this one for another, but I have read the heart cries of others who have spouses who do not comprehend God's heart in this area.
According to verse 2, in the same chapter, one of the main reasons that God endorses marriage in the New Testament is for sexual fulfillment, to avoid fornication. How many times have I heard a woman say something like, "I won't put that thing in my mouth!" or she will give him oral sex but spits out his semen, and won't swallow it, telling him it's “gross.” This can be hurtful for many men. Or, a man that says "that thing stinks, I'm not going to put my mouth down there!" Referring to his wife's vagina, which God has created for his pleasure.
Listen folks, these things are part of marriage; you may have to learn to do some things that you don't like (at first). We men don't always want to do yard work, go shopping, or do other things that please you ladies! Nor do you ladies always want to go to a football game or watch the races on television. Do we want our spouses to go elsewhere to have their desires fulfilled? Or to suffer neglect in the marriage, feeling trapped, longing for fulfillment? It happens all the time, more so in Christian marriages than in the world! Certainly, this is not God's plan. The Christian divorce rate is nearly identical to the world, and this ought not be so. How many spouses are desperately attempting to "stick it out" with prudish and legalistic, or lust plain lazy spouses? The world doesn't care about these things; they'll just go find it somewhere else, but it should not be so with us.
What many of us don't realize is that if we are not fulfilling our duty to our spouses, according to I Corinthians 7:3, and that person does go elsewhere for "fulfillment," then God will hold us personally responsible, and we will give an account to him for how we rendered due benevolence to our spouses.
“Whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery." (Matthew 19:9)
Not fulfilling marital obligations is a form of "putting away." This also includes other things, of course, such as emotional intimacy and so forth, but the command "due benevolence" is primarily sexual.
These things must be taken seriously in light of God's Word…
"And whosoever shall offend one of [these] little ones that believe in me, it is better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he were cast into the sea."
(Luke 17:2)
So husbands and wives, "buck it up!" Let us be free to enjoy what God has given us to enjoy!
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