MarriageRomance.com - 5 TOP WAYS TO GET THE GUY YOU WANT.

I am only 27, but I have dated a lot. I've learned a lot through my dating experience, including what I want and don't want, as well as how to get the guy I want. I'm not a tiny girl, and I never just jump in bed especially on a first or second date. Here are my top five ways to get the guy you want:

1- Be confident. If you are not confident, he may just look right past you to another girl who is confident.

2- Be yourself. Putting on a front can be obvious. Be yourself.

3- Love yourself before you expect a man to love you. If you do not love yourself, then why should anyone else.

4- Take iniatiative- Go talk to him, buy him a drink. Trust me, he can only say no.

5- Be nice to his friends- They were there before you were, and unfortunately with some, they are not going anywhere. So just bear with it :)

A reader says ... Let us take each verse one at a time and find the truth.  Ok so you mentioned Hebrews 13:4 (not Hebrews 13:14).  In the King James Version the verse reads, "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge."

Young's Literal Translation reads "honourable [is] the marriage in all, and the bed undefiled, and whoremongers and adulterers God shall judge."

A whoremonger is someone who goes to prostitutes.  So notice "fornication" is never mentioned in the original text. Please post another one for us to discuss.

Again while I strongly recommend waiting until marriage to have sex, if we are honest about what God says, we won't judge those who live together.  I sat beside a young woman recently on a plane and witnessed to her and she said she would love to go to church but that in East Texas she didn't want to tell people that she is living with her boyfriend because she knew they would condemn her.  She said they plan to get married as soon as they buy their new house that they are saving for.  I know, it sure seems like she has some events backwards but I explained to her that we as Christians should not judge her because God doesn't.

See the New Testament does not define many things.  Consequently the New Testament can only be interpreted in light of the Old Testament.  Many times something is referred to in the New Testament that is defined in the Old Testament.  Each time that some translations of the New Testament use the word "fornication" the word used is either a general word for "immorality" or it is a word meaning "whoremonger".  That is why some translations of the New Testament such as the NIV do not have the word "fornication" in the New Testament.

So the bottom line is we need to take each verse one at a time and look up the original word used and the context and see what it means.  But normally the New Testament is not in the business of making up new laws.  And the only Old Testament law against premaritial sex was when a man had sex with a virgin, he was penalized by having to marry her or pay her father the bride price.  So the Old Testament law did not have any laws against adults having sex outside of marriage if they were single and they had the consent of their parents.  And the New Testament never did define a new law for singles.

What many of us Christians do not understand is that "sex" is not what is sin.  God condemned forms of deviant or unnatural sex, protecing the sexual innocent (incest) and stealing someone else's wife (adultery).

Paul in Romans says hetrosexual sex is natural.  And so God was very liberal with natural sex.  That is why God allowed polygamy and concubines (live in prostitutes).  Maybe God was concerned with making sure women were taken care of.  So God allowed men to have multiple wives to help protect the women.

But God never condemns men for having hetrosexual sex outside of marriage with the first wife unless the woman was married or a virgin or a prostitute.

And people living together must have been common in Bible days.  Jesus ran into this situation with the woman at the well.  And Jesus did not condemn her.  In John 4 verses 16 to 18 read, "He told her, "Go, call your husband and come back." I have no husband," she replied. Jesus said to her, "You are right when you say you have no husband. The fact is, you have had five husbands, and the man you now have is not your husband. What you have just said is quite true."

The woman believes in Jesus and yet Jesus never condemns her or tells her to get married.  Why can't we be like Jesus?  Many more people would get saved.

A reader says ... How about Hebrews 13:14 "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled; for fornicators and adulterers God will judge." ?

This is just one among many.

Why did you imply condemnation? The note was recommendation. What is love if it is not expressed concern for the best good for other people? If we just sit back and say nothing and let someone go on in a destructive course is that any kind of love?

Again, fornication is sex before marriage. The Bible clearly states that God condemns and will judge fornicators. So my earnest recommendation is that you go for God's best which is always best.

A reader says ... While I taught my children to save sex for marriage, I challenge you to provide the chapter and verse from the Bible that says that sex before marriage is sin (if you have the consent of your parents).  Unfortunately there is no verse.  But I still think God's best is to save sex for marriage.  And since God doesn't condemn consenting sex between adults (if they have the permission of their parents), that makes it so we as Christians need to be a bit humble when we condemn others.  Blessings ...

A reader says ... So do you "jump in bed" on the third or fourth date? Have you ever heard the word "fornication". It is still a sin, that God will judge. I suggest a heart change leading to a lifestyle change before it is too late.