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Love & Sex & The Male Brain
Check out this article "Love, sex and the male brain" by By Louann Brizendine at:
http://www.cnn.com/2010/OPINION/03/23/brizendine.male.brain/index.html?hpt=C2
It explains why men like to look at women and why they are preoccupied with sex.
This doesn't mean men shouldn't have self control but it does give an alternative view to the standard Christian approach as to why men like to look at women. The standard Christian approach is that a man is lusting and coveting and committing adultery in his mind when he looks at a woman (who is not his wife) and thinks she is beautiful - especially if she is naked.
This author offers scientific reasoning as to why men and women look at the world differently when it comes to the way they think about the sexual body parts of the opposite sex.
She says, "Perhaps the biggest difference between the male and female brain is that men have a sexual pursuit area that is 2.5 times larger than the one in the female brain. Not only that, but beginning in their teens, they produce 200 to 250 percent more testosterone than they did during pre-adolescence.
If testosterone were beer, a 9-year-old boy would be getting the equivalent of a cup a day. But a 15-year-old would be getting the equivalent of nearly two gallons a day. This fuels their sexual engines and makes it impossible for them to stop thinking about female body parts and sex.
All that testosterone drives the "Man Trance"-- that glazed-eye look a man gets when he sees breasts. As a woman who was among the ranks of the early feminists, I wish I could say that men can stop themselves from entering this trance. But the truth is, they can't. Their visual brain circuits are always on the lookout for fertile mates. Whether or not they intend to pursue a visual enticement, they have to check out the goods.
To a man, this is the most natural response in the world, so he's dismayed by how betrayed his wife or girlfriend feels when she sees him eyeing another woman. Men look at attractive women the way we look at pretty butterflies."
Maybe it is time we Christians rethink our traditional Victorian view of lust, sex, and nudity and instead try and accurately interpret the only verse in the Bible that defines sexual lust. That verse is Matthew 5:28, where Jesus said it is adultery when a man looks at a married woman and covets to have sex with her in his heart.
It is a big step from looking at a woman to coveting to have sex with her. Of course coveting "anything" is sin. Coveting is when you want something that is not yours, so bad that it interferes with your relationship with God and with others.
Jesus was not saying it is sin for men to think women are beautiful. Jesus was not saying it is sin when someone becomes sexually aroused. Jesus was not saying men should feel guilty because they find female anatomy interesting.
Married couples should save all their sexual energy for when the husband and wife are together. Then when together, then do the sexual stuff and so when the couple gets turned on, they have great sex together. So men, don't look at porn unless your wife looks at it with you or gives you permission to look at it. But maybe she will prefer to watch an erotic movie with a romantic story line with you in bed. Wives don't read romance novels and watch chick-flicks, romance, and other sexually gratifying movies and TV shows without your husband's permission. Wives don't think your husband is a pervert simply because he is a male, and focuses on the physical anatomy of the opposite sex while you are a female and tend to focus on the romance and relationship side of the opposite sex. Think of his affection for the anatomy of the opposite sex as his love language. You can help him by staying in shape and looking the best you can look.
Remember "moderation in everything" and "all things are permissible, but not all things are profitable." So see if it helps you have a better sex life so you can serve God better as a married couple. If so, great. If not then try something else. Remember let your husband be the spiritual leader. Remember the devil is the accuser of the brethern. So don't let unfounded guilt destroy your relationship with your husband. Don't make up rules. Remember we live in the time of God's Grace. God wants to write his law on our hearts, he wants to change our attitudes and desires, so we don't get caught up in living under our own made up rules. God wants to give us a reason to live a purpose driven life. When we love God with all our hearts and our neighbors as ourselves, we will make the right decisions. When we make rules, they become our source of feeling holy, instead of getting our feeling of holiness from our good works and serving God and others.
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