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Keeping Your Peace When Your Spouse Loses It

Keeping Your Peace When Your Spouse Loses It - Date Written: 12/1/2004

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Title: "Keeping Your Peace When Your Spouse Loses It"  Author: Unknown

It's the end of the day and your spouse gets home. He or she did not give a smile, a hello, nor a "honey I'm home". The behavior of the kids seems to annoy him or her more than usual, and everything you say or do invites a soul slashing response. Even your best efforts fail.

Realizing that your spouse is in a bad mood, you have tried to be cordial, but his or her unkindness is starting to prick your nerves. Evidently,it only takes one negative response to set ablaze the fires of anger. However, in a situation like this, to keep the incident from boiling over, it is crucial that you maintain your peace. Now, I can hear you saying - how do I maintain my peace when my spouse keeps attacking me? How do I keep cool when he or she is getting mad at everybody? How do I keep my peace when my spouse loses it?

In any scenario like above, keeping one's peace can make a world of difference in the atmosphere of the home. The peaceful partner prevents a stressful situation from becoming an unhealthy marital conflict; a conflict which not only affects the marriage, but can also negatively affect children. Furthermore through his or her example, the peaceful partner helps the unpeaceful partner regain peacefulness.

So let's answer the question - how do I keep my peace. Two things: exercise the fruits of the Spirit, and leave your spouse in the hands of God. The fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, endurance, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and self-control(Galations 5:22-23). When your partner does unkind things, remember that the love you have for him or her is unconditional(despite his or her behavior) Always keep a song of praise to God on your heart, and God's perspective on every sitiuation; this will help you maintain joy and peace in the midst of the stress. As you feel the pressure to give in, exercise endurance - resolve in your heart that you will keep a sweet spirit.

In addition, always respond with a gentle voice, and use gentle gestures and body language. Even though he or she may be displaying an ugly attitude, believe for the best things in your spouse by remembering all the attributes you like about him or her. Be understanding - put yourself in your spouse's shoes; perhaps he or she was faced with overwhelming circumstances throughout the day. And after all is done, exercise self-control - hold your tongue from speaking destructively, and don't allow negative emotions to overtake you. These things may sound hard to do, but if you always remain prayerful, and keep your mind on pleasant things by meditating on God and His Word(The Bible), the Holy Spirit will help you to exercise these things.

There is no guarantee as to how long your spouse will keep that mean attitude. He or she may continue being grouchy. While making sure you are not adding to the problem, leave him or her in the hands of God. Ask the Lord to give you the strength to remain peaceful; and to convict and comfort your spouse by His Holy Spirit. By maintaining your peace, and committing your spouse to God, you will be amazed at the difference God will make.

..............About the Author..............

Omaudi Reid is the owner of HarvestersOnline. He has a diploma in ministry from Harvest Army Bible Institute, and is currently pursuing a bachelor at Beulah Heights Bible College. He is an ordained minister of the gospel of Christ. Guerline is his only love and wife for eight years; together they have three children. Visit his website at http://www.harvestersonline.com
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Comment by: Old Site Date: 2/9/2013 7:49:00 PM
A reader says ... My husband has moved from our home. At his new home I have a key to his apartment but it is not the same my husband feels he has no financial responsibility to me. Along with that he communicates with other women via phone right now (I believe that is all there is between them but it still hurts they dont call the house but they call his cell phone and he calls them I believe) he tries to keep it from me but I always find out.)

Also he is very mean to me at least 95%of the time and says mean things to me. He says he still want to be married but clearly does not show this. I pray and pray for my husband and our marriage and will continue to pray sometimes I want to give up. I am actually thankful that God has taken me through this trial and tribulation it made me see me and I have asked God to change me along with change my husband. I have turned my husband over to God and has asked God that he will but a Godly man in my husbands path so that they could teach and show him what a Husband is suppose to be like. And I am asking for all of your prays also. God Bless all of you.

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