Title: "Biblical Solutions To Marriage Problems In The Bedroom - Her" Author: Unknown
Let's first read James 2 verses 15 through 16. Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it?
Now lets read Matthew 7:9. Or who is there among you, who, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone?
The biblical principle we learn from these verses is that when someone comes to us with a problem we should try to offer a practical physical solution not just a farewell prayer or try to spiritualize the problem.
Now lets learn what the Bible offers to married couples with sexual problems in the bedroom?
God in His infinite wisdom, speaking through the Apostle Paul, put only one passage in the Bible instructing married couples in their sex life. And so it must be a very important passage and should provide the key to all marriage intimacy problems.
Now lets read the passage. In 1 Corinthians 7 3-5 it says, The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
The warning Paul gives to married couples is that they should not withhold sex from each other and that they should basically have sex regularly so that their mate will not be tempted. The implication here is that the couple should enjoy sex with each other, not just mechanically give sex. This is because sexual needs are not just physical but emotional. Emotional sexual needs involve making your spouse feel sexually desired and loved and appreciated. If a mate mechanically gives sex to their spouse, and thus does not meet their spouse's emotional sexual needs, they may leave their spouse vulnerable to temptation and thus defeat the purpose of Paul's instruction. .
Now lets review the two biblical principles we have learned. Remember what they are? The first is to give people practical solutions to their problems when they need help. The second principle we learned was that to avoid problems in the bedroom a married couple should give each other sex regularly and enjoy it.
Now let's apply our Godly wisdom to a real problem situation. Let us pretend you are a Pastor. Here is your problem situation.
A couple has been married for 7 years. The first 2 years of their marriage was wonderful. The next three years they were busy with babies. During the past 7 years they slowly drifted away from each other emotionally. Their close sexual bond no longer exists. When they do have sex it is more mechanical. What happened? They argue often and they have mixed emotions about each other.
The husband comes to you (the Pastor) and tells you he discovered his wife is hooked on soap operas, hooked on romance novels, occasionally looks at porn on the internet, and sometimes visits adult chatrooms. You ask him how his love life has been over the past 7 years. He confesses that because of their arguments he had made excuses to get out of having sex until his wife quit making passes. You ask him if he ever tried to initiate sex with his wife and he confesses, he rarely asked her for sex because after the first three years of marriage he rarely enjoyed it.
You explain to him that the couple is reaping what they sowed. You explain that Paul warned that when the married couple does not keep their sexual relationship strong, the spouse needing sex will be tempted to meet their sexual desires elsewhere. You explain that Paul put the primary responsibility for a healthy relationship on the spouse who gives the sex not the one who needs the sex.
You explain that he needs to restore his sexual relationship with his wife and begin enjoying sex with her regularly.
He confesses that he is angry with his wife and does not feel like having sex with her.
You explain that there is a self-help web site called MarriageRomance.com that can help married couples renew their passion for each other and repair hurting marriages. You explain that a combination of praying for his wife and reading the stories together at night will be just the ticket she and her husband need to restore there love for each other.
You explain that the stories will not only add passon to the marriage but will also help the couple to understand each other better and forgive each other. You explain that like "iron sharpens iron" the ideas from the stories and the love shown in the stories will rub off on the couple.
The couple signs up and the first night he reads a story to his wife, she gets excited while he reads it to her. He also gets excited because his wife is excited, and for the first time in years they experience high levels of passion for each other. After a few weeks of honeymoon level intimacy their problems seem to melt away as the forgiveness for each other overflows from their love for each other.
The wife loses her desire for soap operas, romance novels, chat rooms and porn, as she looks forward to romantic times with her husband. The couple gives God the glory for providing the resources to restore their marriage.