Title: "Question About Erotic Videos For Christian Married Couples" Author: Unknown
Note: This comment is taken from an email we received and answered.
I am about to join your site and was wondering if you
could offer suggestions on videos and types of videos
for myself and my wife. I had read that you suggested
videos from The Sinclair Institute. What other
videos/series or suggestions could you provide for me
on how to select a video? I know there are a number
of "sexual videos" and "pornographic" videos
available, but I'm not sure how to pick. Any help
would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for visiting MarriageRomance.com. I'll try and explain my interpretation of the Bible and why we go against the current Christian cultural thinking on this issue.
First please let me try and explain the purpose we have in hosting this web site. We understand married couples are very diverse, based on many factors such as their upbringing and their past life experiences.
Our goal is to provide a forum where Christian married couples can share in a positive way and encourage others in this area of romance and sex and our goal is to tell the truth about what God in the Bible permits in marriages in the area of romance and sexual issues. Another goal is to help Christian married couples see that they are a team with a goal in life to help turn hearts to Christ by their love for one another and by their good works to others.
How does this web site help accomplish these goals? We feel that if Christian married couples can share and can learn the truth about sexual issues, we believe Christian married couples will be much happier, much better servants for Christ and there will be far less Christian divorces.
So back to the question about videos. The Bible does not condemn a married couple for watching an erotic video together to help their sex life.
However many Christians feel it would be sinful for a Christian married couple to watch an erotic video. When a Christian married couple watches one of the erotic videos on the market today to enhance their sex life, this can be considered a "disputable matter" and can be compared to eating meat offered to idols back in the early church days.
Paul spoke about "disputable matters" and basically said to not do things in front of new or baby Christians that they might find offensive because of their lack of understanding God's Grace. One "disputable matter" Paul referred to was eating meat that had been offered to idols.
Apparently non-Christians offered meat to idols and then took the meat and sold it in the market place. Christians then bought the meat maybe because it was cheap and then they cooked it and ate it. Some new Christians steeped in Jewish tradition and who did not understand it was not sin to eat the meat, were offended by this. Beef is beef. Chicken is chicken. They didn't understand that it doesn't really matter where the beef came from. They did not fully understand God's Grace.
Today Christian married couples who watch erotic videos are in a similar situation. Some Christians might condemn the couple for watching an erotic video of a couple who may not be married. So Paul would say, don't tell your Christian friends, if they do not understand God's Grace, that you watch erotic videos. As a side note, we hope to add a Chrisitan friendship directory to this web site so Christians can find other Chrisitans who do understand God's Grace.
Today new baby Christians would not condemn you for watching an erotic video. On the contrary it is new baby Christians who are the most likely today to watch erotic videos. And it is the supposedly mature Christians who are the most likely to condemn the new baby Christians who feel the freedom in Christ to watch the erotic videos.
I don't know of any erotic videos that guarantee the man and the woman in the video are married. I asked "Sinclair Institute" about their videos and they said something to the effect that most likely they are all married but they don't verify this. Sinclair institute did say the couples in their videos are living together. We know from this they are married in God's eyes.
Now, if the only meat you could find to eat, is meat that has been offered to idols, then I believe Paul would say it is ok to buy it and eat it. Just don't eat it when your weaker brother is over for dinner.
And likewise, if the only videos available are ones that we are not sure if the man and the woman in the video are married, then again I think Paul would say it is ok to buy them and watch them.
What I believe Paul would also say, is to not watch videos that promote or condone immoral activity such as cheating, premarital sex, homosexuality, bestiality, cruelty or that take God's name in vain or that portray any other immoral or illegal activity.
And of course we shouldn't be obsessed with watching them either. Maybe once a week or once every two weeks or once a month or once a year would seem ok. We don't want to be dependent on them in order to enjoy sex.
One way to enjoy sex more is to go longer periods between sex. But this can be difficult on the male if his hormones build up.
God hates sin and so should we. So we encourage married couples to not watch videos with homosexual or bestiality or premarital sex or cheating.
That doesn't leave very many erotic videos on the market today. DrugStore.com has some including the Sinclair Institute ones. We were going to make some videos but gave up on the idea after no one sent us video of their marriages.
I don't know of any other sources except I know there are many resources on the internet. I haven't researched them so I can't give you specifics.
If you find some good ones please let me know. Maybe we could post a list of ones that are available.
And so the reason we say the videos are ok in a Christian marriage is because God does not condemn the use of them in the Bible. I have reasoned with many Pastors on this fact and none have disagreed with me on this point.
The conversation I had with one Pastor is typical of the true feelings of many Pastors. I gave this Pastor a login to our site and asked him to evaluate it. He evaluated it for about a month.
After studying the site for a month he called me. He said our web site could really help his marriage. Then he said that telling married couples that it is ok to watch moral erotic videos together would not be accepted or allowed by the wives because he thought the wives would get too jealous. I disagreed because I explained the wives would see men too and enjoy the videos too.
Then I pleaded that even if wives did get jealous, is that a good reason to preach from the pulpit that all erotic materials are inherently sinful? After all, I had shown him how erotic materials such as our web site can help marriages and I had shown him from the Bible that God does not condemn married couples using erotic materials to help their marriage. He responded that his deacons or elders would throw him out in a heart beat if he condoned our web site or condoned married couples watching moral erotic videos.
In closing, we feel the Christian divorce rate is higher than that of non-Christians because of the legalism surrounding sexual issues in Christian culture.
So we want to help Christian culture adjust to what is God's truth, because if the truth ever does get out, we feel then husbands and wives will not argue about these issues and Christian husbands will not be tempted to secretly look at porn and many marriages will be saved from divorce. The Christian marriage divorce rate ought to be no more than half that of non-Christians because of the work of the Holy Spirit. We feel it is only this one issue of legalism surrounding sexual issues that keeps the Christian divorce rate so high.
I hope this helps some and I'm sorry we don't have a list of videos to suggest.