Title: "Blessed in every way but one" Author: Unknown
My wife and I are relatively new Christians. We came to know Christ together and were baptized together in our Church. Since then we have never been happier. We are growing in ways that we never imagined we could. We have a 9 month old daughter who is the love of our lives. My wife and I are strong in our faith and we have made many new friends who are helping us grow in our walk. To sum it up, in the last two years we've come to know Christ, had a baby, and made many new and positive friends. Our marriage continues to get better in every way but one. Since my wife and I got pregnant 18 months ago our sex life has been virtually non-existent. I understand that this is not anyone's fault and that there will be struggles that we must overcome together in our marriage, but I desperately miss the intimacy that my wife and I once shared in the bedroom. We would greatly appreciate any help that you can give us.
Editor: Thank you for your wonderful testimony! You have the basis for a very happy marriage. I know your baby is a wonderful blessing and also takes much of your wife's and your time. And then your new friends at church and church activities take time.
Here are a few ideas that might help you and your wife fine tune your marriage.
The key to re-establishing the intimacy is realizing that romance and sex is an important part of God's plan for your marriage. The Biblical basis for having sex regularly and enjoying it is found in 1 Corinthians 7 verses 3-5, where Paul says, The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.
Once you and your wife realize that God wants you to enjoy sex regularly, then you both need to budget or set aside the time for romance and sex on a weekly basis. You may need sex twice a week or maybe once a week to maintain the closeness and bonds of love that only sexual intimacy can provide in a marriage.
Of course it is important that the reason you were not having sex is not due to arguments or a bad relationship between you and your wife. In your upcoming discussion about intimacy be sensitive to her to see if there is any emotional barriers between you and her that need to come down in order to enjoy sex again. If there are any, try and work them out with her being loving and kind and trying to please her and meet her needs.
Once you have determined your relationship is harmonious and you have both agreed to set aside the time each week, you may find you need help getting your engines started. Maybe that help will come in the form of a candle lit dinner or a movie or going out to eat, or romantic music in the bedroom, or maybe some new lingerie.
You and your wife may decide to use moral erotic materials in your love life, such as the stories here at MarriageRomance.com.
Knowing what God allows in a marriage is very important, to help prevent you and your wife from having unnecessary guilt and arguing between the husband and wife. The Biblical basis for this is Romans 14:22b where Paul says, "Blessed are those who don't feel guilty for doing something they have decided is right." (NLT)
So Paul says you are blessed when you and your wife decide something you are going to do in your marriage is right and you don't feel guilty about it.
I've given you and your wife a month of subscription so you may explore the articles and stories here at MarriageRomance.com. If you decide not to use moral erotic materials in your marriage that is fine. We believe they can help many marriages and we just want you to know that God does not condemn couples who use them to spice up their love life. Just like Paul in Romans 14 verse 14, did not hesitate to say all foods are clean, we too want to be honest about what God says.
Below are some links to articles that may help you know the truth about what God says about using erotic materials to help add spice to your marriage. There are many other good articles under the "Marriage Articles" and "Christian Life" writing categories. I pray God will continue to bless your marriage and restore to you and your wife a great sex life. Blessings
Testimonies about this site (how it can help couples with their romance life) ...
Eliminate the Routine for Greater Passion ..
Starting Your Engines and Erotic Stories ...
May Couples Use Moral Erotic Sex Aides To Help Their Marriages? ...
Is Sexual Arousal Lust? ...
Is This Web Site A Stumbling Block? ...
Frozen Sex Lives and Divorce ...
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