Title: "Conversations with a friend" Author: Unknown
This may be a little unusual, but it is true. The conversations I describe have, I believe, helped me in my relationship with my wife - and have been very enjoyable in themselves.
Many years ago now, I shared a cubicle with another Christian a woman whom I had worked with for a number of years, during which she shared with me and other co-workers her dating trials and tribulations more so with me, I think, than with the others. I knew she loved the Lord, as did I, and was delighted when she began to date, then married, a great Christian guy as dedicated to the Lord as she. She was 10 years younger than him; he is my age.
At the time this story takes place, she was about 38; I had known her about 10 years. She was a beautiful, intelligent redhead, without guile and open to discuss many things in her life.
By the way, I had been married about 22 years by that time, happily so, but my wife had never orgasmed with me although she had with another man (another story).
For some reason I forget now, one day when no one else was around, our talk turned to sexual matters although we never considered or discussed doing anything with each other, we did discuss our respective marriages and what we did sexually.
She said for instance one day, about her 6'6 husband, He's big in every way, if you know what I mean.
Another time, she recounted how they were camping in a deserted campground, and knowing she loved oral sex, he pleased her but kept getting hairs in his teeth, which grossed him out a bit; as I told her, that aspect of it never bothered me. She also told me that she reciprocated the pleasure with him.
Although I had had a little experience before marriage, and other adventures, I had never closely examined a woman's genitals to learn the parts. As I discussed my wife's lack of orgasm, my friend asked me if I knew how to stimulate my wife's clitoris; when I confessed I didn't know what it looked like, my friend sketched a little drawing for me to look at, then described what SHE liked to have done.
We continued to have this kind of conversation for months each time I would get so rock-hard I thought would begin to feel faint from blood diversion, yet I still believe I did not sin because I was not lusting after HER I was thinking of my wife, and just turned on by the talk of sex, in general.
What a friend! After these conversations I would be turned on all day and only get relief with my wife at home.
I have come to believe that it would not even have been sin if she had showed me her genitals, to better describe the parts and demonstrate how to please a woman, as I would have taken it as instruction and reserved my desire for my wife.
Perhaps it's like the difference between admiring a rose in someone else's garden - smelling its fragrance, examining its petals, perhaps even touching it to see how it's made but not coveting it to have it for myself, or picking it to take it as my own. Likewise, I believe that I, or my wife, can see someone of the opposite sex naked, admire what we see, enjoy the view, perhaps even touch but not lust i.e. want that for ourself.
We may be getting together for coffee in the near future to catch up after several years of mutual busyness and we may resume our conversations. I'm looking forward to it!