The site provides a
place where married couples may publish love letters and love poems to each
other. The site also allows couples to write love stories and many other
categories of writings and articles.
We allow
discussions and descriptions of marriage sex in writings, because "God made sex for marriage" and we want people to associate
"sex with marriage". Movies, the media, and secular
society, tend to associate the pleasures of sex with immorality; such as sex
before marriage or cheating during marriage. We want people to associate
the pleasures of sex with marriage - this is the association God
intended.
But we do not stop there. God made
marriages to be a partnership called a family. And God wants each family
to be a team that glorifies God, with a goal of
making "God's Will be done here on earth as it is in Heaven."
We encourage
Christian married couples to include in their stories, how Christ has helped in
their marriage.
We know that just as
testimonies of romance encourage married couples to be romantic, so also
testimonies of Christ will encourage readers to turn to God.
We pray the site is
a blessing to you ... If you wish to
contact us, please call 903-705-0669.
The verses below
form the Biblical foundation for the mission of this web site.
God Wants Husbands And Wives To
Agree
In the Bible, Amos 3:3 says, "Can
two walk together, except they be agreed?”
Resolve Differences - Strive To Please Each Other
Without a good relationship with
our spouse it is impossible to have a good relationship with God. One of
the requirements that God puts on us is that we should forgive others the way
He forgives us. We may be saved but we are fooling ourselves if we think
we have a good relationship with God when we are holding grudges and ill
feelings against our spouse.
We recommend that married couples
periodically take inventory of their feelings for each other. Just like a
health check-up is needed periodically, so also a "relationship check-up" is
helpful.
Here is how we suggest the
married couple give their marriage a "relationship check-up".
We recommend that the husband and
wife each make up a list of the things they wish their mate would change.
Now you have two lists. One that the wife wrote down, with things she
wishes her husband would change. And another list that the husband wrote
down, with things he wishes his wife would change.
Now, together write down a list of things that you both
disagree on. Think back as far as you can to things that you have
disagreed on in the past and that you have never resolved. These are
things that may cause you to feel bitter towards each other.
Before you start the next step, each of you pray aloud to God
and ask God to help you give up your selfishness for the sake of a good
marriage and for the sake of being good bondservants for Christ.
A marriage only works well when both the husband and wife are
willing to give up and overcome their own emotions, inhibitions, fears, and
selfish desires, for the sake of meeting the needs and desires of their spouse.
Now sit down together and take the first two lists and go over
each item carefully. Let the person who wrote down the item, explain why
they wish their spouse would change and how it makes them feel that their
spouse is the way they are, and how they would feel if their spouse would
change. Next, let the other spouse explain why they are the way they are
and what it would mean for them to change. Would it be easy to change?
Would it destroy their life to change? Try to come up with a solution
together. Try to be willing to change for your spouse. If your
spouse is being picky and selfish, point this out to your spouse. If your
spouse is asking you to stop being picky or selfish, be willing to change.
Don't go to the next item on the list until either the person wanting the
change decides the other does not have to change, or else the person who is
being asked to change, decides to change. Don't go to the next item until
the issue is resolved. Pray together and ask what God would have each of
you to do.
Go over all the issues - all the items - until you have
resolved them all. Then go over the list of things you both disagree on
and come up with a Godly solution. We do not live under law, we live
under Grace. Remember, in a Christian marriage the wife is supposed to
submit to her husband's guidance and the husband is supposed to love his wife
as much as Christ loved the church and gave His life for us. Give your
spouse freedom under God's Grace. Is it "profitable"? Does it help
your spouse? Does it help your spouse be more emotionally stable, more
fulfilled? If it helps your spouse be happier, so he or she can be a
better servant to you and to God and others, then it is "profitable".
Is the issue about spending - buying something? Is it
going to put you in debt? If it puts you in debt, and you don't need it
now, then it may be "profitable" to buy it now. God wants you to wait
until you can afford it.
If you don't need it, but you want to buy it, because it would
make you feel good, then it may not be "profitable", because you need it to be
happy, instead of being content with what God has given you.
Will buying it help you serve your spouse and family better or
serve God better? If so it may be justified.
Is it an issue of time? Does it take precious time away
from your family and away from being able to serve your family or God or
others? Is it for recreation and pleasure? Remember Paul says to
"put off the encumbrances that so easily beset us." In Paul's writings he
encourages us to live like we are running a race and use our time and
resources wisely to serve God.
Don't weight your life down with recreation that cuts into your
ministry to your family, your spouse and serving God by ministering to others.
If it takes a lot of time it may not be "profitable". It all depends on
your perspective. If you have a desire to serve God and others, you will
spend your free time serving others. If your desire is primarily for
recreation and self-gratification you will spend your spare time entertaining
yourself.
Decide to serve God with your life, by serving your spouse
first, your children second, your extended family third, the spiritually lost,
physically needy, and emotionally hurting fourth, and the church fifth.
All of these are serving God, in the priority that God would have you serve, so
in effect you will be serving God first.
Is the issue laziness at home? The answer is to stop
being lazy and help your spouse.
Remember, as a married couple you
are "one" and you can't be very effective for God unless you agree on things.
Remember the Bible teaches that “How can
two walk together, except they be agreed”, so be determined to compromise and
agree on things.
If you can't agree on something you are welcome to send us a list of things you
can not agree on and we will tell you what we think the Bible has to say
about them. We can't tell you what color to paint the bathroom, but we can give you Godly advice on moral issues. Since we live under
Grace, the rule of thumb is that if the Bible does not condemn something, and
it is not dangerous or harmful or illegal, and it is helpful to your spouse,
then it should be fine to do it. The Bible does condemn watching media that
promotes and condones immorality or that takes God's name in vain.
Each week go over the list together and mark off things that the other has
changed, and things you now agree on, and things that are not important anymore.
Each spouse may add new issues to the lists also. Each week talk over the
remaining issues and continue to change and compromise for each other.
Each week go over the list until all the things are gone from the list. You
will be deeply in love by then. Only God can help you do this, so pray together
each night and ask God to help you forgive each other and resolve your
differences.
Sex In Marriage
Is Pure
Hebrews 13 verses 4 to 6 says:
Marriage is honorable among all, and
the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.
God Wants Married Couples To Enjoy Intimacy
In 1 Corinthians 7:5 the apostle Paul says, “Do not deprive each other, except perhaps
by mutual consent for a time, to be free for prayer, but then return to one
another, so that Satan may not tempt you through your lack of self-control.”
Don't let emotions control your sex drive.
This is not "profitable".
Paul instructs married couples to not
withhold sex from each other. If your emotions are keeping you from
having sex regularly with your spouse, you are setting your spouse up for "a
lack of self-control". It is better to find a way to bring your
emotions in line with God's will for your marriage than it is to deprive your
spouse of sexual fulfillment.
If you don't have emotions of passion for
your spouse, pray and ask God to change you. Then don't ignore the
resources God has given you to bring your emotions in line with God's will
for your marriage. God has given you this web site to help your
marriage. Read some marriage love stories in bed with your spouse
to help bring your emotions in line with Paul's instructions on having sex.
God wants married couples to enjoy sex and
when they don't, they and their spouse do not feel "emotionally sexually"
fulfilled. Not having sex regularly or not making your spouse feel
sexually desired, causes your spouse to be tempted to not have self-control.
God Wants Couples To Save Sexual Energy
For Each Other
Not having a good sex life, leads to secret
sexual habits like looking at porn, reading romance novels, watching soap
operas, flirting or even worse yet, adultery.
God wants married couples to save their sexual
energy for each other. When a married couples takes their wedding vows,
they promise to go to each other for your sexual fulfillment. That does
not mean they can not use sex aides while in bed together, to increase their fun
and excitement together. Candles, a romantic setting, soft romantic music,
are all sex aides to enhance the romantic and sexual experience together.
Reading together moral erotic stories, using vibrators, rubbing oils on each
other, and wearing sexy lingerie are other sex aides that are permissible to add
passion to the marriage.
We Are Not Under The Law
We are saved by Grace through
faith in Jesus Christ. We are all sinners who deserve to go to hell when we
die. But Jesus is God's Son, and Jesus was born of virgin Mary and Jesus
lived a perfect life here on earth until he was 33, when he was then killed by
crucifixion under Roman rule by the religious Jews who did not accept him as
God and as the "fulfillment of the law". Jesus taught that if we just
believe that He is God and that He died for our sins, that we will be saved and
go to heaven instead of to hell.
As Christians we believe that
Jesus died for our sins and that we are saved by God's Grace - unmerited mercy
and grace, and that as Paul taught, we no longer live under the Old Testament
law, but rather we live under the new law which is, to "Love the Lord your God
with all your heart and your neighbor as yourself" (Matthew 22:37). Paul taught that when
we believe that Jesus died for our sins, that God the Holy Spirit comes into
our minds and hearts and "writes God's laws on our hearts." And so the
Holy Spirit guides us to know what is right and wrong.
Paul in
Galatians 3 verses 10 – 14 says, “All who rely on observing the law are under a
curse, for it is written: "Cursed is everyone who does not continue to do
everything written in the Book of the Law." Clearly no one is justified before
God by the law, because, "The righteous will live by faith." The law is not
based on faith; on the contrary, "The man who does these things will live by
them." Christ redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us,
for it is written: "Cursed is everyone who is hung on a tree." He redeemed us
in order that the blessing given to Abraham might come to the Gentiles through
Christ Jesus, so that by faith we might receive the promise of the Spirit.”
A little later in Galatians 3 verses 23 – 25, Paul says, “Before this faith
came, we were held prisoners by the law, locked up until faith should be
revealed. So the law was put in charge to lead us to Christ that we might be
justified by faith. Now that faith has come, we are no longer under the
supervision of the law. “
We
Are Free To Try Things That Are "Profitable"
Paul in 1 Corinthians 6 12 to 17
said, "all things are permissible but not all things are profitable." In this
passage Paul says it would be permissible for him to have sex with a prostitute
but that it would not be profitable and he would never do it.
Here is the passage: 1 Corinthians 6 12 - 17, "Everything is permissible for
me" — but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible for me"—but
I will not be mastered by anything. "...The body is not meant for sexual
immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body. ... Do you not know
that your bodies are members of Christ himself? Shall I then take the members
of Christ and unite them with a prostitute? Never! Do you not know that he who
unites himself with a prostitute is one with her in body? For it is said, "The
two will become one flesh." But he who unites himself with the Lord is one with
him in spirit. "
Going to prostitutes was common in Paul’s day. Paul is admonishing the
Christians to not go to prostitutes, but notice he does so in the context of
saying it is "permissible" but not "profitable." Paul felt so strongly that we are
not under the law, that he used this example of going to a prostitute as an
example of his freedom.
We Should Care What God
And Society Thinks
Knowing what is "profitable"
depends on our own desires and our needs and it should also depend on what God thinks is
moral and what our society thinks is moral.
In Ephesians 5 verse 3 Paul says,
"But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any
kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy
people."
What did Paul mean when he said, "there must not be even a hint of sexual
immorality, or of any kind of impurity .."? Who decides if we have a "hint of
sexual immorality" in our conduct?
I believe the standard of measure is the Bible, and our social culture.
If we are doing something and the Bible condemns, we should stop doing it.
And if we are doing something and our social culture condemns, we should also
stop doing it.
This is the standard Paul admonishes us to keep in our lives - "Live a life
with not even a hint of sexual immorality, or any kind or impurity ..." based
on the judgments of God in the Bible and the society we live in."
We Should Not Judge
Others Freedom
Our Pastor told a story about a young couple who went to the
mission field to be missionaries. But they had someone send them something. And
when the other missionaries found out about it they felt this young couple were
not being good Christians because they were not willing to give this item up.
They alienated the couple and would not accept them and finally the couple
returned devastated to the U.S. That item was peanut butter. The other
missionaries felt that this couple ought to be willing to give up peanut butter,
and since they didn't, they judged them.
We as Christians have no basis
for condemning something that the Bible does not condemn and our society does
not condemn. As Christians we are not supposed to be judging beyond what God
condemns in the Bible. In Matthew 7: 1-5 Jesus says, "Do not judge, or you too
will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and
with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. "Why do you look at the
speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in
your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of
your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite,
first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to
remove the speck from your brother's eye." Paul also warns that Christians
should not judge or they will forfeit God's Grace.
Freedom Can Help Us Be Better Servants For Christ
So we are not under the law, and
we should feel free to use resources in our marriage that will be "profitable"
and that God in the Bible does not condemn and that our society does not
condemn. But like Jesus, we do not need to be too concerned if self-righteous
folks condemn us. These folks may be like those who Paul wrote the book
of Galatians to; they believed in Jesus for their salvation, but then they put
themselves back under their own self-imposed laws.
While we do not need to feel
guilty because some Christians who do not understand God's Grace, condemn us,
we also do not want to impose our opinions of what is "profitable" on them.
The Bible teaches that "whatsoever is not of faith is sin." So if some
Christians feel that reading or watching moral erotic material in their
marriage bedroom is wrong for them, then they should not watch it.
They serve God as their master
and we don't want to condemn them if they do not have the faith to use the
tools we use to help our marriage. But if they do have intimacy problems
in their marriage and they refuse to take control of their emotions, or use the
resources available to them to build a strong marriage, and in so doing, they
cause their spouse to fall into temptation, then God will hold them accountable
for not meeting their spouses sexual needs.
Grow In Grace And Knowledge Of Our Lord And Savior Jesus Christ
Once we have a good loving
relationship with our spouse, we will grow spiritually more quickly.
Colossians 3 verses 1 to 19 says:
Since, then, you have been
raised with Christ, set your hearts on things above, where Christ is seated
at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things above, not on earthly
things. For you died, and your life is now hidden with Christ in God. When
Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in
glory.
Put to death, therefore,
whatever belongs to your earthly nature: sexual immorality, impurity, lust,
evil desires and greed, which is idolatry. Because of these, the wrath of God
is coming. You used to walk in these ways, in the life you once
lived. But now you must rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger,
rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips. Do not
lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with its practices
and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge in the
image of its Creator. Here there is no Greek or Jew, circumcised or
uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave or free, but Christ is all, and is
in all.
Therefore, as God's
chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion,
kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive
whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord
forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all
together in perfect unity.
Let the peace of Christ
rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.
And be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly as you teach and
admonish one another with all wisdom, and as you sing psalms, hymns and
spiritual songs with gratitude in your hearts to God. And whatever you do,
whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving
thanks to God the Father through him.
Wives, submit to your
husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.
Husbands, love your wives
and do not be harsh with them.
We Can Share Our Experiences And Encourage Others
Songs Of Solomon is an example
of a couple sharing their romantic experiences together. Proverbs 27: 17 says, "As iron
sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." This web site provides
a way married couples may encourage and "sharpen" other married couples in the area of
intimacy; by sharing marriage romance writings.
